


By Some Evil Spell

by saraliz78



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Family, Family Issues, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-06
Updated: 2013-09-06
Packaged: 2017-12-25 19:33:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/956831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saraliz78/pseuds/saraliz78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Exiled, by same author. When Estel, Legolas, Elladan, and Elrohir go on a scouting expedition for Elrond and Gandalf, it is only the beginning of their troubles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"This rain is interminable! I am soaked through, and the saddle is becoming quite slippery."

"Stop your complaining, Elladan. You are not the only one of us upon whom the rain falls." Elrohir flashed his twin a smile. "It falls on Estel and I as well, though perhaps not on the Prince of Mirkwood."

Legolas favored Elrohir with a roll of his eyes. "I cannot repel the rain, but the cloak I wear has truly done wonders in that respect. Have you no cloaks?"

Elladan made a face at Legolas' back, but pulled his warm cloak from his pack. Elrohir did the same.

"Estel, have you a cloak, brother?"

The young Ranger did have a cloak, and had been wearing it for the duration of the hunting trip. Unfortunately, he was still cold and wet. Legolas turned around to see his human friend and immediately felt guilty. Estel's dark hair was plastered to his head. Water dripped from his hair and face down his neck and thus infiltrated the elven cloak. Although he was trying valiantly to hide it, Estel was shivering.

"Estel! Have you no sense? For a man who just killed twelve orcs and three wargs, you have a remarkable lack of self-preservation."

"My spare cloak was ruined by a careless elf who shall go un-named at this moment." The young human coughed, a sound that more than resembled the name, "Legolas."

 

The Prince of Mirkwood laughed. "Let it not be said that I will not admit fault when fault is mine. For the record, I will say that I would not have ruined it had a human not jostled my elbow while I wore the borrowed cloak!"

Estel smiled. "Clumsy lot, humans. No sense of self-preservation, I've been told. However, for all our faults I seem to remember a particular elf- prince about to have his arm chewed off by a slobbering warg. It is fortunate that a human with a good sense of elf-preservation was nearby."

At Estel's joke, Elladan and Elrohir groaned. "Please, have mercy upon us and stop your terrible jesting before I fall to the ground. Can we not stop to rest a bit? Home is not far now, and we are weary from fighting."

Legolas stopped his horse and the others did the same. "We need a rest, and then we must ride for Rivendell before this weather worsens. We elves may not be in danger of catching cold, but it is still most unpleasant to be outdoors right now."

The three elves and the young ranger had been scouting the perimeters of Rivendell for Lord Elrond and Mithrandir. They Grey Pilgrim had been visiting for a long while, and spent many hours in Elrond's study. Elladan had been so curious to hear what his father and the kindly wizard were discussing at so great a length, that he had been caught listening at the door. Similarly, Estel and Legolas had been caught trying to hear from the hedge outside the window. When Elrohir was also discovered hiding behind the draperies, the wizard had sighed, and reluctantly admitted that because they would be the ones sent to investigate, that perhaps they ought to be told what to be alert for.

From Mithrandir and Elrond, they learned that the threat of Sauron was once again growing. The wizard would not be as specific as they wished that he would, but the small amount of information that he gave was enough to chill the four of them to the bone. The first part of their mission was to ride the perimeter of Rivendell, staying alert to the possibilities of increased numbers of orcs, wargs, and other creatures of evil. After returning to Rivendell to report on their findings, they were to ride next to Mirkwood to do the same, and to inform Legolas' father, King Thranduil, of the growing threat.

Of course, things rarely turned out to be as easy as they seemed. They had quickly discovered that Mithrandir was right. Within three days, they had their first altercation with orcs. Two weeks later, the three elves and the ranger had killed more orcs and wargs than they had thought to see in a lifetime. That Imladris was now only a short distance away was a most welcome fact.

Legolas signaled to the others that they should wait for a moment. Throughout their journey, the Prince of Mirkwood had often experienced a feeling of profound wrongness. It was not something that he could easily describe, though he had tried. Elladan and Elrohir had both tried to meditate to understand what it was that put their friend on edge, but had been unable to feel the sensation for themselves. Estel worried so when Legolas felt it, that the Mirkwood elf had stopped voicing his concern. The last several times that Estel had asked if Legolas was all right, he had assured the young human that they would discuss it with Elrond upon their return.

They led their horses to the edge of the river to drink, and Elrohir dug into his pack to find an extra cloak for Estel.

"Here, brother. Put this on."

Estel shook his head stubbornly. "I am fine."

Elrohir did not take 'no' for an answer. He took his human brother by the shoulders, yanked off the wet cloak and replaced it with the dry one. "None of us are 'fine'. We are tired and soaked to the bone. Orc and warg blood stains our clothing. You killed more of the foul creatures than I. At least allow me to lend you a cloak."

Sighing, Estel accepted his brother's offer. "Thank you. I - "

A loud crack of thunder cut him off, and a zigzag of lightning appeared in the sky. Spooked, the horses began to prance nervously, and their riders had to keep a tight hold on the reins to keep them from running away. Another bolt of lightning struck a tree, setting the top of it on fire.

Standing at the edge of the river, Estel faced the woods. Elrohir's back was to the trees, but he saw the look of horror that crossed his foster brother's face. Estel sprang forward with a speed that was more elven than human, throwing Elrohir out of the path of danger. The entire top half of the lightning-stricken tree landed on Estel, pinning him to the riverbed.

The next several moments were a blur for the three elves. Elrohir lay where he had landed, staring stunned at the place where his human brother had stood. Elladan ran to the water's edge, frantically shouting Estel's name. Legolas felt his stomach lurch and wondered briefly if that was what it felt like to be ill.

It was Legolas who found Estel near the riverbank, pinned beneath the tree, and it was Legolas who managed to stir the young Ranger to consciousness.

"Estel! Come back to the light, my friend. Open your eyes."

Estel did not move, and the elf-prince was forced to try a more drastic

method. He drew back his hand and slapped Estel's face, not too hard, but hard enough that the human opened his eyes and let out a pained groan.

"Legolas ... hurts ... "

The elf comforted as best he could, smoothing the hair out of Estel's face. "Shh. You are trapped, but we will soon have you out. Can you keep your head out of the water for me?"

Estel nodded, and the elves went to work. Elladan and Elrohir stood at either end of the tree, while Legolas lifted from the center. The timber creaked, but did not budge, except to threaten to crush Estel even more thoroughly. Estel's cries stopped them from any further attempts to move the tree with physical force.

"It cannot be moved, not by us, and not without killing him. We must ride for help, Rivendell is not far." Elladan stated the situation succinctly, and Legolas agreed. Elrohir still stared wide-eyed at the form of his foster brother trapped beneath the tree.

"It is my fault. I should be the one who lies where Estel does. I will ride for help."

Legolas nodded his agreement. "Elladan, stay with him. We will fetch Elrond, and Mithrandir as well, if he has not yet departed."

When Elrohir and Legolas rode away, Elladan sat down in the river beside Estel and held him, determined to keep Estel's mind anywhere but on what was happening.


	2. Chapter 2

"Elladan! Help me, brother, please!"

Estel's grey eyes swam with terror as he struggled to keep his head above the water. Elladan positioned his human brother's head against his shoulder, relieving him of the burden of straining his neck constantly to avoid being drowned. The massive tree pinioned Estel to the riverbed, thankfully in water that came only to Elladan's knees so that the elf could at least sit with the young Ranger.

"There. Is that better? Are you all right?"

"Have you gone mad? I am trapped beneath a tree in the river, and fish are nibbling at me!" Estel laughed shakily. "The way it is raining, I am unsure that Elrohir and Legolas will return with help before - before I drown."

Tightening his arms around his brother, Elladan spoke soothingly. "You will not drown. I am here, and I will continue to hold your head well above the surface until Ada arrives. He will make the river let you go with his magic. I pray that Mithrandir has not yet departed from Rivendell. His help in this matter would be much appreciated."

In answer, Estel sneezed forcefully. The sudden movement caused him to gasp in pain as his left arm, hip, and leg strained against their confinement beneath the tree. He felt a rock begin to dig into his thigh as the muddy riverbed shifted under him.

"Aahh!" The water was up to Estel's chin, and was rising as the rain continued to fall. When he cried out at the pain in his leg, water rushed into his mouth, causing him to cough harder.

Elladan did not dare pound on his back to relieve the coughing for fear of harming him, but he rubbed his right shoulder and arm gently, alarmed at how cold Estel's skin felt. "Estel! Has the pain worsened?"

"Yes." His voice was a whisper, and Elladan knew that for his human brother to admit that he was in pain, it had to be very bad indeed. "There is a rock, digging into my - my leg, and it - it is breaking it."

Grimly, the elf faced the truth of the matter. Legolas and Elrohir had yet to return, and Estel was in danger of dying from the cold if he did not drown. The late fall air had been but pleasantly cool in the afternoon, but now that the sun was nearly set, it was more than chilly. The cold did Elladan no harm, but he knew that it was not good for his human brother. Estel bit back another cry as the rock dug harder into his leg, and Elladan made a quick decision.

"Estel, can you hold your breath if I dive to dig you free?"

He nodded. "I - I can. I d-don't have much of a choice, do I?"

Elladan squeezed Estel's hand tightly. "Take a deep breath, little brother. I am about to let go."

Estel inhaled as much air as he could, and felt the water rush over his face as Elladan let go of him.

The tree would have crushed the entire left side of Estel's body if it had not been for the muddy river bottom. However, the pressure of the heavy tree was pressing Estel further into the riverbed with each passing moment. Elladan clawed furiously at the mud, trying to dig deep enough to pull his brother free. The massive oak creaked and groaned as it began to shift, and Elladan was forced to stop digging. If the tree shifted much more, it would kill Estel.

"Estel!" His human brother could not hold his breath for as long as an elf, and in his haste to extricate Estel, Elladan had forgotten this. It was often all too easy to forget that his foster brother was not an elf.

Raising the young Ranger's head above the water, Elladan again held him upright, noting with concern the bluish tinge of his lips.

"Thought - thought you had forgotten me." Estel wiped his hair out of his eyes with his right arm. "Started to black out. Elladan?"

"Yes, brother. I am here."

Stark fear marred Estel's face. "Elladan? I - I cannot feel ... I am no longer in pain."

Feeling his stomach sink, Elladan forced a smile. "Well, I suppose that is good, is it not? Do you wish for the pain to return?"

"I am no longer a child, my brother. As long as I could feel the pain, I had hope of - of rescue and recovery. I do not wish to be less than whole. 'Tis bad enough that I am mortal. Ada would never allow Arwen to throw her life away for a mortal who cannot walk under his own power."

Elladan shook his head. "Do not speak of not having hope. It is your name, you will always have hope. As for Ada, his concern will be with healing you. You did a brave thing, Estel. If you had not pushed Elrohir out of the way, he would be trapped as you are now. You risked your life, and I hope you understand that Elrohir, Legolas, and myself would do the same for you."

For an elf to cry was a great rarity, but tears coursed freely down Elladan's face now. He could feel Estel's pulse growing weaker, and he was helpless to do anything except hold him.

**************************************************************************** ****************

 

Legolas had not been able to shake the horrible sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that had first assailed him when he saw the mighty oak crash into the river, pinning Estel beneath it. He had seen Estel injured before, but this was different somehow. He glanced at Elrohir, who rode at his side, and his heart broke for his friend. Had Estel not shoved him out of the way, it would have been he who was trapped instead of Estel.

They rode into Imladris only to find that Lord Elrond, Glorfindel, and Arwen stood bidding goodbye to Mithrandir, who had been on an extended visit to Rivendell. The grey-robed wizard wore his traveling cloak and was already astride Shadowfax.

Elrond greeted them somberly. From their faces, it was obvious that something was terribly wrong. "You have arrived just in time to say farewell to Mithrandir."

When neither elf spoke, Elrond's suspicion was confirmed. "Elrohir? Tell me what has happened, my son. Where are Elladan and Estel?"

Arwen rushed forward, gripping Elrohir's hand tightly. "Elrohir, where is Estel?"

Elrohir opened his mouth to reply, but could make no sound. Elrond noted with great trepidation the haunted look in his son's eyes.

Legolas laid a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder and spoke. "You were right, Mithrandir. There were many more of Sauron's foul creatures than there ought to be. We hunted and killed a small band of warg-riding orcs. The storm came upon us while still we fought, and when the last beast had been felled, we headed for Rivendell. Lightning struck one of the oaks near the river, and - "

"And Estel saw and we did not. The tree fell, and Estel pushed me aside. He tried to roll clear, but - but he did not clear it. He is trapped and can barely keep his head above the water. Elladan is with him." Elrohir looked down, avoiding his father's gaze.

Closing his eyes, Elrond asked softly, "He lives?"

Legolas answered, "He does, but the water rises because of the rain, and the air is chill. I fear he will not last much longer."

"We will ride immediately." The elf lord's face was impassive, but his eyes gave away the turmoil he felt. Why was it always Estel who suffered, more than any of his children? In his heart, Elrond knew the answer. It was because Estel was a mortal among immortals. Feeling all too keenly his differences, Estel strove to prove himself to his father, brothers, and beloved. Estel's love for his dear ones was strong, stronger even than his sense of self-preservation. Somewhere along the way, he had begun to believe that his life was worth less than one of the Firstborn, and Elrond hoped that he had not in any way perpetuated that kind of thinking in his youngest.

The Lord of Rivendell wasted no time. While the horses were being readied and provisions were packed, Elrond stuffed his pack with healing herbs, soft cloth to be used as bandages, and any other instruments that he thought might help him treat Estel. Standing on a stepladder to reach into a high shelf in his study, Elrond took Vilya, his Ring of Power from its box and slipped it onto his finger. As the cool metal touched his skin, he felt a rush of power. Frowning at his hand, Elrond ignored the sensation. Estel had thrown himself in front of his brother to save his life. The very least Elrond could do was endure a slight discomfort.

Gandalf found him in his study. "The horses are ready, old friend." Noting the elf-lord's expression of sadness, the wizard laid a hand on his shoulder. "Estel is strong. He will not give in. And, should the elements or his injuries attempt to take him, they will have a hearty opponent in Elladan, I would wager."

**************************************************************************** ****************

"Estel!" Elladan shook the young Ranger's shoulder. "Estel, open your eyes!"

When Estel did not respond, Elladan had to fight to keep his panic in check. The river level had risen from the never-ceasing rain, and now it reached his chin. A weak, thready pulse was the only sign that the human lived. Even the violent tremors that had wracked his young body only an hour before had stopped.

*************************************************************************** *****************


	3. Chapter 3

The moment Elrond and the rest of his party reached the riverbank, the Lord of Rivendell leapt down from his horse, running toward Elladan and Estel.

Elladan met his father's eyes sadly. "He has lost consciousness, Ada. I did not know what to do."

Elrond ruffled his son's hair. "You did the right thing. The warmth your body lent to his may be the only reason he still breathes. I need you to hold him, continue to keep his head above the water. Mithrandir and I will handle the tree." The elf-lord turned to Legolas, "When the tree has been suspended, help Elladan with Estel. Do not put any undue pressure on the left side of his body. He will have sustained some serious injuries."

At the thought of the damage that could be done to his friend's all too mortal young body, Legolas shuddered, but moved into position to help Elladan.

Gandalf raised his staff, and Elrond his ring, and the tree began to rise into the air. Working quickly, Legolas and Elladan took Estel's limp form and laid him out on the earth. The young Ranger's forehead was hot with fever, but he did not wake.

Watching in awe as the wizard and the elf-lord disposed of the tree, Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas could feel the air nearly crackling with power. It was easy to forget that Mithrandir was a very powerful wizard when he was sitting before the fire smoking his pipe and telling tales of his many adventures, just as it was difficult to imagine the power Elrond wielded with Vilya.

As soon as the tree had been safely discarded, Elrond dropped his hand to his side, massaging his fingers as the ring's power still caused them to tingle. Gandalf lowered his staff, once again leaning upon it as though it were nothing more than a walking stick. Elrond's attention did not rest on his own discomfort for long. When his eyes fell upon his sons, he ran to them, dropping to his knees in the mud beside Estel.

"Estel! Open your eyes, my son. Do not linger in the darkness any longer."

Estel stirred slightly, a moan escaping his lips. "Cold ... "

Quickly, Elrond removed his warm elven cloak and wrapped it around his foster son. "He is badly hurt. We must get him back to Rivendell where I can tend to him properly."

Elrohir helped his father lift Estel onto his horse. The elf-lord supported Estel against his own body, afraid to hold him too tightly because of his wounds. Even in his barely conscious state, Estel's body was racked with pain with every jarring step of the horse. Elrond pressed his hand to the too-warm forehead, whispering to him in elvish. He felt Estel's body go completely slack, and was glad that he would not be awake for the painful journey home.

Upon their return to Rivendell, the first priority was getting Estel into his bed. Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas stood back and watched, pale-faced, as Elrond and Gandalf began removing Estel's soaked, torn clothing. Unable to hide their horror, everyone in the room, including Gandalf, gasped at the state of the young ranger's body. His left shoulder, arm, and side were bruised black, the shoulder obviously, painfully dislocated. His left leg was badly bruised, and there was a ragged wound where the rock had dug into his flesh until it pressed the bone. As if the bruising was not bad enough, cuts and scrapes abounded as well.

Elrond's first thought was to get his shoulder taken care of before he regained consciousness. Gandalf held the young Ranger firmly while Elrond snapped the joint back into place. Unfortunately, as the shoulder made an audible cracking sound, Estel opened frightened, feverish eyes.

"No! Please, no more!"

Cradling his foster son's head, the Lord of Rivendell tried to soothe him. "Shh, shh, Estel. You are badly hurt, but I will make it better. Soon, it will not hurt."

Estel was not aware of reality, as the fever had sent him into delirium. He thrashed restlessly on his bed, and when Legolas and Elrond tried to hold him still, he mumbled half-incoherently about events long past. "I am sorry, Ada! Please, do not send me away!"

Tears rolled silently down Elrond's face. Would the damage he had done to Estel's soul never heal? He had thought that the dreams of his exile and subsequent orc captivity had faded completely, but here was evidence that they had not.

"He is dreaming of when I exiled him. That was years ago. I had thought he had recovered from that."

Legolas shook his head. "I do not mean to be unkind, but I speak the truth. He dreams of it often, even when no fever plagues him. He loves you and he loves Rivendell, but he will ever be wary."

The Elven Lord of Rivendell sighed, running his hand lovingly through his foster son's hair. "Peace, my son. Sleep in peace." Once again, Estel's body relaxed, his face buried in the soft fabrics of his father's robes.

"Will he be well?" Arwen stood in the doorway, tears clinging to her eyelashes, but otherwise composed.

"Your presence can only help, Undomiel. See? At the sound of your voice, his breathing has become more regular."

It was true, and obviously so, as Estel calmed visibly as she softly stroked his forehead. "I will sit with him, Ada. I will soothe him while you work. Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas are too wet and dusty with travel to touch Estel."

Elrond nodded his agreement, mustering a small smile for his sons and their friend. "She is right. You must all three bathe and change your clothes before you may come back into this room. Legolas and Elladan started for the door, but Elrohir hung back, a worried frown marring his youthful elven face. Elrond rose from Estel's bed, leaving Arwen to tend him alone for a few moments so that he could embrace his son. "Elrohir, it was not your fault. Estel will be all right. He pushed you out of the path of danger because you are his brother and he loves you. You or Elladan would do the same for him, would you not?"

"He pushed me out of the way, Ada. I did not even know what was happening until I saw him lying beneath that tree." He shuddered at the memory. "Why would he do such a thing? It would truly have been better if it was I who was wounded. My firstborn blood would have seen me partially healed by now."

Elrond thought for a moment before answering. Elrohir was right, of course. Had the tree fallen on his elven sons, the injuries would have been painful but not life-threatening. "Estel is a mortal raised among immortals. In many ways, our immortality causes him to feel too keenly the frailty of Men."

Mithrandir finished grinding the herbs he had been preparing, laying his mortar and pestle aside. "In many other ways, however, growing up here in Rivendell has turned our Estel into a bit of a daredevil, I fear."

"He is every bit as cautious, if not more so, than Elladan and I!" Elrohir defended his human brother's character fiercely.

The old wizard nodded in agreement. "Yes, he is. Think about this, Elrohir. If you or Legolas or Elladan decide to leap over a small gorge, what is the worst that could happen? Your horse might balk, you might fall a bit, but your injuries will heal. If a warg takes a bite of your arm, your elven strength will sustain you until it can be treated. If you are traveling in a storm, you do not have to worry about being taken ill. When traveling in snow, you can walk atop the drifts. Estel does everything you do, goes everywhere you go, but he does not have the luxury of being an elf. He lives among elves, thinks like an elf, and is in love with an elf." Mithrandir smiled at Arwen, who looked up from tending Estel just enough to blush prettily. "But, he is no elf and he knows this."

A soft moan from Estel ended their discussion. The young Ranger's eyes were open and he blinked as if to clear his vision, his eyelids again drooping closed. Arwen smoothed his hair. "Open your eyes, Estel. You are safe at home now."

Slowly, he opened his eyes. At the sight of Arwen, a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

Arwen wiped the sweat and grime from his face with a soft cloth, working her way down his neck to his shoulders and chest. "Speak to me, Estel. Tell me what hurts and what I may do to make it better."

His voice was a whisper, but it held a note of humor. "My Lady, there are only two places that do not hurt, and they are my chin and my right index finger. If you wish, I could point at something for you."

Arwen gently lifted his right hand to her lips and kissed his index finger, then leaned close to him and kissed his chin. "Better?"

"Much."

"Hrrrummph."

They were interrupted by the sound of Gandalf clearing his throat. The gray- robed wizard glanced at Elrond, who was watching his daughter with a cross of stern disapproval and paternal worry. Arwen pulled away from Estel, and Elrond relaxed visibly. When the elven lord reached out to touch his human son, Estel's body tensed, and he closed his eyes against the added pain.

Elrond did not realize his mistake, that Estel had seen the disapproval on his face, and he leaned closer. "You need to open your eyes, Estel. You opened them a few moments ago, and I need for you to do that again, all right?" He brushed the straggling, mud-caked hair from Estel's forehead, and the young human again tensed, causing pain to erupt all over his body.

Estel gasped, straining to sit up, then collapsed against the pillows. Tears leaked from the corners of his tightly closed eyes. "I'm sorry, Ada. I'm sorry. I-I c-can't - " The pain from moving caused him to black out.

"Ada? What is the matter?" Arwen frowned in concern.

"Nothing, my child. Only it is time for you to leave this room, at least until Mithrandir and I can get Estel bathed and clothed. His fever still burns."

Obediently but hesitantly, Arwen left the room. "Ada, please tell me when I may sit with him again. I didn't even get to thank him for saving Elrohir."

Elrond nodded. "It is you that he truly wishes to see. When we are finished here, I will send for you."

After Arwen had gone, Elrond looked to Gandalf in confusion. "What has happened? In one moment, he has gone from lying quietly to apologizing for the Valar know what!"

Gandalf shook his head sadly. "He saw."

"Saw what?"

"He saw the expression on your face when Arwen was ministering to him."

At that moment, Elrond knew that the wizard was right. He had thought that he had done a good job of hiding his reservations about Arwen's relationship with Estel, but he remembered his thoughts during the moment that he had seen his daughter lay a kiss upon Edain flesh. His thoughts had not been complimentary. He had let his guard down, shown his true feelings, and Estel had seen it.

At Estel's bedside, Elrond and Gandalf watched the young Ranger for a moment. Estel's skin was pale, and sweat was beaded on his forehead. The ghastly contrast of the bruises and scratches was enough to make Elrond's heart clench painfully. Getting him cleaned up was a difficult task, but once it was finished, Estel rested so much more comfortably that it was worth the difficulty. After a thorough examination, Elrond determined that Estel had broken three ribs, and bruised several more. His left leg was not broken, but the bone was cracked. The shoulder that had been dislocated made a sickening grinding sound when the arm was moved, and on top of it all, the prolonged exposure to cold and water had caused his fever.

And then, Elrond thought sadly, he had added the extra burden of guilt to the young man's already troubled heart. Determination filled the elf-lord. Estel would recover, in body and in spirit. Was Elrond not known far and wide as the best healer in Middle Earth? Estel needed his family and friends close during the long recovery that lay ahead, and Elrond resolved to do whatever it took to bring the young Ranger around.


	4. Chapter 4

Much later, Legolas returned to Estel's room, fully bathed and rested. Estel lay still, the only movement the rise and fall of his chest. His left arm was in a sling, his ribs had been bandaged, and his left leg was propped up on several pillows. The cuts and scratches had been dressed, and a poultice of fever-reducing herbs rested on his forehead.

The Prince of Mirkwood sat in the chair next to the bed and propped his feet up on the mattress. When Estel awakened, he would be there. In his sleep, Estel turned his face slightly to the side, giving Legolas a better view. Legolas felt his heart clench painfully in his chest when he saw that tears leaked in a steady stream from Estel's closed eyes.

Gently, Legolas stroked the tangled hair away from Estel's face. "My friend, it grieves my heart to see you troubled. Is the pain more than you can bear?"

Estel nodded, opening his eyes and dashing the tears away with his right hand. "When I close my eyes, it is like I am once again a prisoner of the orcs. I cannot shake the nightmares, Legolas. They - they haunt me." In a small voice, he added, "They have for a long time."

Legolas sighed. "I know, my friend. I have heard your cries in the night, on our recent trip and before, though it seems to have gotten worse rather than better." The elf hesitated. "There is more, is there not? You have not told me all of what unsettles you."

"I cannot."

The Prince of Mirkwood withdrew his comforting hand from his friend's forehead, crossing his arms and fixing the young human with a stern look. "Cannot? What oath binds you that you are unable to explain to your best friend what causes the tears you try so hard to hide?"

Realizing that he had offended his friend, Estel reached out to grasp his hand. If Legolas left him, then he would truly be alone.

The panicked expression on Estel's face did not escape notice. Legolas gave his good hand a gentle squeeze. "I was not leaving, Estel. Be at peace, and please tell me why you grieve."

Haltingly, Estel spoke, and Legolas felt his heart ache in sympathy for his friend. "It - it is never enough. It will never be enough, no matter ... no matter how hard I push myself, how hard I try. It seems I must resign myself to a life of duty and exhaustion from the trying."

"Trying? Estel, I don't understand. Explain to me what it is you mean." Legolas frowned in concern. He had not known that such dark emotions had gained a hold upon his friend.

"I would die for them, Legolas. Any one of them, and for you. If I could give my life to ensure Arwen's eternal happiness in the Gray Havens, I would do so, but as it is, she would grieve my passing too much, or worse, blame herself. Elladan and Elrohir are the brothers of my heart, and Ada ... he has lost so much. If I live, I take from him his daughter, and if I die, he loses a son. I believe he could weather my loss were it not for the destiny he has brought me up to claim. The despair of living in a world fallen to shadow is not something I could do to him. Ere, I must try to live up to my destiny, no matter that it is not what I want. It is

worse than simply not wanting it, I fear and despise the idea of what I must be and the things I must do. It hangs around my neck like a great weight and crushes the breath from my chest." Estel shivered. "The feeling has been growing, Legolas. Some evil brews, and it calls to me. It wants me to fight it, to fight it and die."

"Estel, you are becoming too agitated. You must rest."

"Don't you see? I can't. Rest is to be forever denied me. I must work constantly to take on my role as Isildur's heir, traveling with the Rangers, scouting for Ada and Gandalf. Then, if I survive, I must be King of Men. There will be no rest for me when the personal safety of all those under my rule is my responsibility. I will not have rest until I am dead. The Evenstar was the only light shining in the future for me, and her light has been dimmed by Lord Elrond's disapproval."

Legolas was stunned. Never before had he heard words of such despair come from his friend. He had never dreamed that Estel felt so strongly, nor had he imagined the pain that had wrapped itself around Estel's tender, caring heart. The Elf-prince had no words to ease the anguish, no way to bring comfort or hope. He sighed deeply, resting his hand gently on Estel's cheek, and murmured, "You were called 'hope' because that is what you bring to Middle Earth. It is a cruel twist that in bringing hope to others, there is none left for you. I promise you, Estel. I swear to you that you will not face your destiny alone. I will be with you, and I will not abandon you, even unto death."

"Please, don't make promises that you cannot keep. One day, you will sail to the Gray Havens, as will my brothers, my father, and my beloved, if Ada has his way. I will be alone with the destiny I accepted only for those who would leave me."

Legolas found that tears welled in his eyes at the unfairness of Estel's position. "I make no promise that I do not intend to keep, my friend. You know this about me. I will not sail for the Havens until after you have passed on from this Middle Earth. The cry of the gulls will not take me from you until that day. I swear to you, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, that you will not be left alone with your burden."

In answer, Estel smiled, the gratitude in his eyes so real that it was nearly tangible. "Thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me that I will not suffer and die alone. It makes it ... bearable."

Bearable. Legolas cringed inside at the word. Why should Estel's life be only bearable when others were allowed to have their hearts' desires? Why should he have to shoulder the burden of his destiny when all of his forebears had escaped it?

Hours later, Estel slept, and Legolas still sat at his bedside, deep in thought. Elrond entered to check on his foster son and noted the serious expression on the younger elf's face.

"Has he awakened?"

Legolas nodded. "Yes. Frequently, in fact. If I may ask, Lord Elrond, do you have a draught of dreamless sleep? He cannot close his eyes for more than a few minutes before the nightmares take him. He is overtired and it is affecting his mood and causing him to despair."

As if to help make Legolas' point, Estel cried out in his sleep, begging some unseen foe to stop hurting him. His words turned into an inarticulate sob. "No home, no family. Alone ... I am sorry, please, I am sorry ... "

Elrond could bear to hear no more, and sat beside his son, taking him into his arms as gently as he could, mindful of his wounded body. Estel opened eyes dulled by exhaustion and pain.

"I am tired, Ada." Estel's voice was almost a whisper, and he lowered his eyes as though ashamed of his weariness.

"I know, my son. I will help you to rest."

The Lord of Rivendell laid his son back on the bed, stroking his hair softly. He rose from the bed to go and retrieve a sleeping draught from his sizeable collection of remedies. When he returned, he urged the exhausted ranger to drink it. Too tired to protest or even speak, Estel took it without complaint.

Elrond frowned. He knew that it was more than a simple physical exhaustion. He had been noticing even before Estel had departed with the twins and the Prince of Mirkwood a change in the young man's demeanor. He had tried to tell himself that it was not related to the exile but he knew the truth in his heart. Estel had recovered from his injuries sustained during his captivity among the orcs with alarming speed. The very moment he was able to ride, he had immediately resumed his usual duties with his brothers and with the Dunedain. Almost every moment of his free time was spent training, sparring with anyone he could get to participate. Not once since his recovery had he sat idle long enough for Elrond to study him carefully. Now that the young human lay still, Elrond was not pleased with what he saw. There was more to this problem than physical injury and emotional pain. With a great deal of surprise, Elrond recognized the work of some powerful magic.

"Legolas, there is more at work here than meets the eye. I sense magic about Estel. By some evil spell, he is drifting farther away from us by the hour. Think carefully, has there been any time during your recent travels with him that he could have been exposed to such a thing?"

The elven prince closed his eyes in thought. "I suppose there could have been some sort of magical interference when we fought the orcs and wargs. I had an unsettling feeling at the time that the creatures were not acting of their own accord, but had been sent by some terrible master. I had forgotten the feeling in my haste to leave the battle scene and later to retrieve help for Estel." He hesitated in thought for a moment, then continued. "When I spoke to Estel, he said that he felt that some evil brews, and that it calls to him, wanting him to fight it, to fight it and die. Those were his words, nearly verbatim."

Lord Elrond's eyebrows knitted together in an expression of anger. "There is a way to find out exactly what has been done to him, but it is not easily done. The herbs and other ingredients of the cure must be given in a certain order and the dosage is very precise." He hesitated for a moment. "Legolas, you have been to Lothlorien and beheld the Lady Galadriel, have you not?"

Legolas nodded. "Yes. Why do you ask?"

"Then you know of her ability to know the minds of others, to speak over long distances?"

"Yes, but why - "

Elrond interrupted the younger elf. "I must enter Estel's mind, see what he sees. I must identify the source of the magic that blankets him in despair."

The Prince of Mirkwood's fair face bore an expression of shock. "You are going to enter his mind? Are you certain that is wise? It is a terrible violation, not to mention the danger that whatever power is harming Estel could attack you as well."

Elrond closed his eyes tightly. "I must take the risk, son of Thranduil. If I do not, I might as well go to the Gray Havens now and hang the fate of Middle Earth. I have told you before that Estel is important, have I not?"

Legolas nodded. "You have."

"As important as he is to the survival of Middle Earth, I will admit to you, Legolas, that that is not the reason I would risk this."

Puzzled, the Prince of Mirkwood asked, "Then why?"

"He is . dear . to me. Estel is my son, if not by direct blood, then by the blood of my beloved brother Elros. Estel's arrival in Rivendell made life after the departure of Celebrian bearable for myself and for Elladan and Elrohir. He is my son, and he is their brother. I do this because I love him as my own children." The elven lord gently stroked Estel's cheek, remembering the child his foster son had been. "How could I not?"

Legolas frowned. Bearable. There was that word again.


	5. Chapter 5

Having been shooed from Estel's bedside, Arwen strode purposefully down the hallway toward the suite of rooms shared by her twin brothers. If she could not be with Estel at the moment, then she would see to the well-being of her siblings. Elladan had sat in the water holding Estel, forced to watch as he became less and less responsive, and Elrohir felt as though it should be he who lay wounded in Estel's stead. She knew her brothers well, and knew that they might need some looking after. Arwen reached out her hand to knock, then stopped. She could hear voices from inside the room. Voices that sounded ... upset.

"Stop! Elladan, please! I know you're angry, but throwing things and shouting won't help Estel!" Elrohir's voice was pleading.

The sound of shattering glass was the only reply.

"Elladan! That vase belonged to mother!"

"Then maybe she should have taken it with her!" Elladan's voice was ragged with emotion.

Arwen could bear no more, and knocked loudly, pushing the door open before her brothers could attempt to lock her out. The sight of the elven twins nearly broke her heart. Elladan paced angrily back and forth, carelessly crunching the shards of the broken vase with his boots. Several books had been flung from their shelves and now lay on the floor with pages bent. Elrohir knelt on the floor, hurriedly gathering the pieces of the delicate blue vase.

When they saw their sister, they stopped. Elladan froze, his pacing forgotten. Elrohir set the broken vase gently down. It was obvious that both of them feared that she was angry at their actions.

Anger was the farthest thing from Arwen's mind. She stepped toward Elladan and wrapped her arms around her brother, speaking in low, soothing tones that were eerily reminiscent of their grandmother, the Lady Galadriel.

"Be calm, my brother. Do not let your heart be troubled."

Elladan pulled away from her, staring at the broken vase. "Mother's vase ... I - I broke it. I broke it because it was hers."

Arwen continued to speak soothingly, encouraging Elladan to sit down on his bed. "Shh. I understand, Elladan. The manner of her leaving was abrupt. I have also felt angry with her upon occasion. What I do not understand is what Mother has to do with what happened to Estel."

Taking a long, hitching breath, Elladan looked down at the floor, where Elrohir still knelt beside the shards of the Lady Celebrian's vase. "She left. What if Estel leaves as well? I know we will see Mother when we sail to the Undying Lands, but if Estel dies ... " He could not finish that thought. "I held him as the life left his body for the second time, and it - it made me think of when we rescued her from those foul creatures. It is all swimming around inside my head together. Estel after the orcs had beaten him nearly to death, Mother after they had their way with her, and when I saw him pinned beneath that tree, I - " His voice broke, and he stopped.

"You what? What is it?" Elrohir rose, leaving the shattered vase to sit beside his brother.

"I thanked the Valar that it was not you beneath the tree, Elrohir."

Neither Arwen nor Elrohir spoke.

"Did you not hear me? I was glad it was Estel and not my twin. I saw him lying there, and all I could think of was how glad I was that it was not you. What sort of elf does that make me, that I would think such a thing? My Edain brother is more deserving of eternal life than I, for it was he who took your place beneath that tree."

At that moment, Legolas stepped into the room, fixing a glare on Elladan. "You would tremble with shame for those words if you heard what I have just heard. I have been sitting with Estel, and he is not doing well. The fever has caused him to come in and out of delirium. At several points, he believed that he was exiled again, at the mercy of the orcs. He called for his brothers several times, begging you to stop them from hurting him. He told me that he would give his life for any one of us. To know that the whole time you held him, you were silently thanking the Valar that it was Estel whose life was being slowly crushed out of him would destroy him."

Elladan covered his face with his hands, and Elrohir stared at his brother in shock. "Estel may die yet, and my heart aches that one so dear to me has taken my place. Please, Elladan. Do not say such things. I know you are sorely grieved, but surely you know that I would not wish such pain upon Estel. Had I seen the tree before he did, I would have pushed him aside."

Legolas laid a hand on Elrohir's shoulder, squeezing it gently. "As would I."

The Prince of Mirkwood was truly surprised at Elladan's admission. It was understandable that the twins had a connection that only the two of them could fully comprehend. The unfairness of the situation was what angered him. Estel's half-delirious but brutally honest confession of his deepest fears and feelings was still ringing in his head. His fear of abandonment by his elven family had at first seemed farfetched, but Elladan's outburst made him wonder if there was reason for Estel's fears.

Arwen stared at Elladan wide-eyed and spoke quietly, "I was not here in Rivendell when Estel was brought here, but in the letters I received from you and from Ada, it seemed that he was a sweet, thoughtful child. I understand what Mithrandir meant when he said that Estel was a mortal raised among immortals. What was he to you, Elladan? A pet? An adoring, affectionate little pup to be cherished and then discarded? As you held him, what were your thoughts? That you owed him comfort because his pain spared Elrohir?"

Elrohir reached out to touch his brother's shoulder. "I love you my brother, and if you died, I would wish to join you, but I could never wish suffering on another to spare even you, much less pray to the Valar for it. I cannot be here right now. I must go and see Ada and Estel."

Holding a hand up in the air to halt Elrohir's departure, Legolas called out, "Wait! I came here to inform you of Lord Elrond's decision."

Arwen frowned. "Decision? What has Ada decided?"

"More than injury and illness plague Estel. Some evil spell holds sway over him, causing him to despair. It is as though every hidden fear and every cruel memory are haunting him to the point that Lord Elrond fears for his sanity. He has decided to enter Estel's mind to discover the source of the evil. Mithrandir will assist him, and he wants all of you to be there in case something goes awry."

Having lived with the Lady Galadriel for many years, Arwen understood what this task would entail. "Is it not a violation of his mind? Did Estel ask for this to be done?"

"Nay, he did not. I, too, had such reservations until I listened to Estel's nightmares with Lord Elrond. Many of the dreams seem to be about when he was exiled. He calls for his brothers and for his Ada to help him."

Elladan felt all of his previous anger drain away. Arwen's words had cut deeply, and he was wise enough to know that nothing cut deeper than truth. He knew that he had never thought of Estel as a pet, but his willingness to sacrifice Estel to save his twin showed him that he had perhaps considered his human brother to be in some way ... less. The idea that he had in any way contributed to Estel's insecurity and fear of abandonment made him feel ill. Had he not stood up for Estel against Elrond when the elven lord had exiled him? Elladan flushed with shame at the way he had accused his father of treating Estel badly when he himself was guilty of the same.

"Entering Estel's mind will be dangerous for Ada as well, will it not?" Elrohir asked softly.

Arwen nodded. "It will. He will see what Estel sees in his thoughts and dreams, experience his memories and emotions. My beloved has experienced much, and his dreams are troubled. To see such suffering in his own son will hurt him greatly." Pausing for a moment, Arwen frowned slightly, a small crease marring her flawless skin between her eyebrows. "And, if it is as he fears, that an evil spell causes Estel's despair, the spell could attack him as well."

"He knows this and willingly risks his own life." Legolas stated. "I asked Lord Elrond the same questions, and he told me that he would take the risk because Estel is important to the fate of Middle Earth, and because Estel is his son. His father's heart cries out at seeing his child suffer so."

Arwen's eyes shone with pride. "Ada is truly a warrior of light. I am proud to call such an elf my father."

Unshed tears shone in Elrohir's eyes. "As am I."

Elladan did not speak, still lost in the shame he felt over discovering that he was not the devoted brother he had believed himself to be. Elrohir, Legolas, and Arwen left the room to help Elrond and Mithrandir in any way that they could. Legolas had asked if he would come with them, and when Elladan did not reply, he assumed that it was because he was still angry.

Alone in his room, Elladan was assailed by memories of the night he and Elrohir had brought a two-year-old Aragorn to Imladris. He remembered the tiny fingers closing around his hands, the wide, terrified eyes of a mere babe who had seen his human father killed. The Lady Gilraen was by far too distraught at the loss of Arathorn to comfort her young son, and so Elladan had allowed Elrohir to attend to Gilraen, taking the tiny human into his arms.

**************************************************************************** ****************

Flashback...

"Mama! I want Mama!"

The human child was scarcely more than an infant, and his cries were not cries of temper, but of fear. Elladan had little experience with children, but something about the desperate tone in the voice of the small one made him reach down to lift the child into his arms.

He felt a bond, a kindred spirit in this young one. If there was anything Elladan could understand, it was missing one's mother. His own had sailed to the Grey Havens after being brutalized by orcs. Elrohir had been gravely wounded in their rescue of their mother, and had nearly died. Elladan had nearly lost his sanity when he thought that both his mother and his twin would be taken from him. The Lady Celebrian had not asked about her children, nor had she even bid them farewell before her departure. Arwen's grief over her mother's abandonment had run so deep that she could no longer stay in Rivendell. After Celebrian left, Arwen had gone to stay in Lothlorien with Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn. Her letters had been few and far between.

The tiny human child whimpered, his face buried in Elladan's neck. "Shh, shh, young one. Your mother lives. She will be all right, as will you."

Elladan's long, dark hair hung disheveled, having fallen halfway out of the elven braids he usually wore. Tiny fingers tugged none too gently at his hair. "Da?"

The child's question tore painfully at Elladan's heart. The child had somehow confused him with Arathorn. Both had dark hair that they wore long, and in all likelihood, the young Aragorn had spent little time with his father, as Arathorn had had duties with the Dunedain. Arathorn had been a dear friend, and now he was dead. Elladan could not bring himself to lie to the child.

"No, I am not your 'Da', Aragorn. I am Elladan, son of Elrond of Imladris. Your father was my friend."

"Ell'an?"

"No, young one. Ell-a-dan. Try it again."

"Ell'dan." The child's face lit up with a smile. "Ell'dan!"

Small arms wrapped around Elladan's neck, and he awkwardly patted the messy, dark curls. "Yes, young Aragorn. If you like, you may call me 'Ell'dan'. Do not fear, for I will protect you."

End Flashback

**************************************************************************** ****************

Elladan closed his eyes against the memories, but it did him no good. Despair hovered in the air all around him, and if anyone had been with him, they would have seen that the atmosphere in the room glowed with an unnatural, yellowish light.

**************************************************************************** ****************

Flashback...

Elladan knelt over his foster brother, tears running silently down his face.

With what seemed to be a monumental effort, Estel opened his eyes.

Hoarsely, he managed, "Ell'dan?"

Afraid to touch his foster brother for fear of aggravating his wounds, Elladan reached out to him, then allowed his hands to hover just shy of resting on Estel's shoulders. He was surprised when Estel reached out a shaking hand to grip his. No! He could not watch his brother die, he could not! But, neither could he let go of the hand that gripped his so tightly, just like the tiny fingers of the frightened child Estel had been so many years ago.

End Flashback

**************************************************************************** ****************

The light of day faded into the dusk of evening and then into the darkness of night. While Elrond Half-Elven, Gandalf the Grey, Prince Legolas of Mirkwood, Elrohir Peredhil, and Arwen Undomiel, the Evenstar of her people, prepared for the fight to save Aragorn, son of Arathorn, the Hope of Men, the evil had already begun to spread, starting with Elladan, who sat alone in the dark with his memories.


	6. Chapter 6

Elrond sat on the bed beside his foster son, holding a flask of freshly brewed herbs. The precise dosage had been painstakingly measured by the elf- lord, and double checked by Gandalf, who stood beside Elrond. Estel's condition had continued to deteriorate to the point that when he managed to wake from his nightmares, he remained delirious. When Elrond pressed the flask to the young ranger's lips, he protested, pushing it away. Determined to help his son, Elrond tried again, this time gently massaging Estel's throat to encourage him to swallow.

He was thoroughly surprised when Estel's eyes opened wide, a panicked expression on his face, and his hands flew up to protect his throat. "No! No, please! I - I can't breathe!"

Too late, Elrond remembered the ghastly bruises that had encircled Estel's neck as a result of his captivity among the orcs. Ugblood had strangled the young human, causing him to black out, and damaging his windpipe so badly that his voice had been hoarse for weeks after. In his delirious state, Estel felt hands on his neck, and immediately associated that with what Ugblood had done to him. Nothing Elrond could do would calm his youngest child, and so he removed himself from Estel's bedside.

"Let me try." Arwen reached out her hand for the flask.

Elrond stared at his daughter for a moment, then handed it to her. "Be careful, my Undomiel. He does not know us. He must drink all of the draught. It will put him in a deep trance, which will enable me to do what I must."

Confidently, Arwen sat down beside Estel. "He will know me, and he will drink it all. Just give me a moment."

The elf-maid took Estel gently into her arms, and when he protested, she leaned close to him, whispering low and soft, things that no one but Estel could hear. Gradually, his mutterings and cries stopped, and he rested peacefully. His eyes opened again, this time not so clouded with delirium.

"Arwen." He reached up with his right hand to clasp hers as tightly as his diminished strength would allow. "Arwen, are you real?"

"Yes, my love. I am real. You are very sick and badly wounded. You must drink this draught, all of it. If you do not, you will be lost to me forever, and I cannot even think of such a thing."

Estel blinked several times, trying to focus. "What is it?"

Looking to Elrond to answer her question, and seeing that he shook his head to indicate that she was not to tell him what the draught was truly for, Arwen answered him, "It was made by Ada and Mithrandir, who are trying to help you. You must drink it, Estel."

Arwen gently moved the flask to his mouth, helping him to hold it steady as he drank it to the last drop. "Lie down, my Estel. Let the draught do its work. I am here and will be here when you wake. Ada is here, and Mithrandir, and also Elrohir and Legolas. We will not leave you."

Estel closed his eyes as Arwen asked, whispering, "Tell Legolas Greenleaf that he is a good elf, a good friend."

Standing beside Elrohir, Legolas looked down, lest the other elves see the tears that shone in his eyes, but did not fall. The Prince of Mirkwood answered softly, "And Aragorn, son of Arathorn, known as Estel, son of Elrond, is a good man. A better man and a better friend than he do not exist."

With those last words, Estel slipped into the coma-like trance that was necessary for Elrond to heal him. Arwen stood, planting a kiss on Estel's forehead, and went to stand with her brother and Legolas to make room for Elrond to sit down. Mithrandir raised his staff, uttering words that were known only to the wizards, and the room grew darker. Elrond reached out his hand and let it rest on Estel's forehead and allowed himself to enter Estel's mind. If anything went wrong, Mithrandir would use his magic to bring both Elrond and Estel out of the mind-trance.

**************************************************************************** ***

Elrond slowly opened his eyes, glancing around at his surroundings. A sickly yellowish fog permeated everything, blurring his vision. Before he could even begin thinking about how to proceed with his mission to free his son, he was assailed with a staggering sense of despair so heavy that it seemed it would drive his incorporeal form to its knees. He had communicated with Galadriel with his mind several times before, but this was markedly different. It was as though he was simultaneously viewing from afar and intimately experiencing all that his foster son felt.

Through the fog, Elrond could make out several shapes, and hear raised voices. A feeling of cold horror crept into the pit of his stomach when he heard his own voice say harshly, "Exiled."

He felt Estel's devastation as completely as though it were his own. He could hear his son's thoughts as though they were his own, and he was overwhelmed with a mixture of shame and horror. When he had exiled Estel, he had committed the ultimate betrayal. Elrond felt the depth and strength of Estel's character, and of his love for Arwen. He felt his son's helplessness -- it was truly impossible for him to simply stop loving her, no matter how willing he was, and he had been willing. Estel had truly wished that he could cease to love Arwen, had prayed to the Valar for it, all so his elven father would not hate him and send him away.

Remembering Arwen's words when she had heatedly explained to him that Estel had in no way initiated the relationship, Elrond could now see that she had spoken the truth. Estel had sought to deny himself love just to please Elrond. "Oh, my Estel. I am sorry. I did not understand what I had done to you."

An eerie laugh emanated from somewhere within the yellow fog. "Elrond Half- Elven. I have been waiting for you."

**************************************************************************** ***

Flashback...

"Mother! No, no, oh Valar, no!" Elladan cried out in anguish at the sight of his beautiful mother in the hands of cruel orcs.

Celebrian did not react to the sight of her twin sons riding into the orc camp, swords flashing as they cut down orc after snarling orc. Elrohir was the first to reach her, and he leapt down from his mount, protecting his mother with his own body, hacking and slashing at the creatures as they attempted to get past him to further torment Celebrian.

Elladan watched in horror, still too far away to prevent the orc's rough sword from entering Elrohir's right side and driving all the way through him until the point protruded from his back. Elrohir cried out in agony, falling to the ground.

"Elrohir!" Elladan screamed his twin's name with a voice that was raw with grief. He threw his dagger with deadly accuracy at the orc who had dealt the blow to Elrohir, then in a frenzy of rage, killed the remaining orcs, impervious to the various cuts and scratches he received in the process.

When all of the creatures were dead, Elladan raced to where his mother stood, staring dazedly at Elrohir, who lay motionless on the earth, a pool of blood spreading out from beneath him.

"Mother! Mother, can you ride?"

Celebrian nodded, the tiniest movement of her head, and Elladan gently helped her onto the back of his horse. He then knelt beside his twin and tore strips from his own tunic to stop the blood from flowing. Although he knew that there was no way that he could lead Celebrian's horse and carry Elrohir all the way back to Rivendell, it never occurred to him not to try. Luckily, it was only minutes before a company of elves led by Glorfindel arrived.

Elrohir and Celebrian were quickly transferred to pallets in the back of a wagon pulled by the fastest horses in Rivendell. Elladan's legs gave out, and he would have fallen to the ground had Glorfindel not caught him. The regal elf had always had a soft spot for the twins, and had frequently told them stories of his travels and given them sweets as children. As they grew older, Glorfindel remained close, teaching them everything from swordcraft to history and languages in tandem with Lord Elrond. Now, Glorfindel, killer of Balrog, held Elladan to his chest, stroking the midnight hair and whispering softly words of comfort. Had Glorfindel not been there to see that Elladan got home, it was likely that the overwrought, wounded young elf might have curled up on the hard earth and died of grief.

Upon their return to Imladris, Lord Elrond immediately began working to heal his wife and his son. When it became apparent that Celebrian's most grievous wounds were not physical, Elrond had decided that Elrohir would have to be stabilized and quickly, lest he die.

Elladan remembered sitting in his room, his wounds being tended by Glorfindel. It had been two days before he had seen his father, even for a few moments. After Elrond had done all that he could for Elrohir, he had left his son under the care of the other healers, concentrating his efforts and full attention on trying to heal Celebrian. Arwen could do nothing but weep. She was scarcely more than an elfling, and was very close to her mother. Celebrian's absence left a gaping hole in the young elf-maid's heart, a hole that could not be closed by comfort offered by her brother.

Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn arrived as quickly as they could travel from Lothlorien, their ageless faces tight with concern and grief for their daughter. Celebrian regained her senses, but decided to depart for the Grey Havens. Against the pleading of her parents and her husband, she refused to see her children before she left. It was not often that Galadriel was at a loss for words, but she could not force Celebrian to change her mind. In the end, Celebrian departed before Elrohir, who had protected his mother at the cost of his own body, ever regained consciousness. Arwen found comfort in her grandparents and left for Lothlorien with Galadriel and Celeborn when they left Imladris. Elladan could not fault his sister for leaving. He knew that she would not find the comfort she needed in Imladris, not while the grief of loss hung heavy over the house of the Peredhil.

End Flashback

****************************************************************************

Alone in his room, Elladan stared at the wall and his body began to shake with sobs. The unnatural yellowish haze in the room thickened, and, had anyone been there to notice, they would have heard the sound of cruel laughter.

**************************************************************************** *


	7. Chapter 7

"Who are you? Answer me at once!" Elrond commanded the formless evil, his voice thundering angrily.

"Who am I? You of all beings should not have to ask. You know me, Elrond Half-Elven, for I have known you for a long, long time."

Elrond crossed his arms stubbornly. "No more games, evil one. The one you haunt is my son, and he is very dear to me. You will not win this confrontation."

The haze began to solidify, taking on the form of Estel, then in the space of a few seconds, changing to into Elladan. "Which son, Elrond? Which will you save?"

"Why do you believe that I can save only one?"

His question seemed to stump the being, if only for a moment, and it avoided answering him. Instead, the form of Elladan changed into Celebrian, and then into Elros. "So much pain, so many memories ... it has been too long since I have feasted."

With that, the fog faded, and Elrond found himself once again inside Estel's memories. He could clearly see the limp form of his foster son tied crudely to a post. A massive orc swung a whip, striking the young human repeatedly across his back. Elrond felt the burning, slicing pain of each stroke, and the desperate fear and pain that clouded Estel's mind. He heard the agonized cries that were forced from his son, most of them in Elvish, as the tortured young ranger struggled and twisted in his bonds to escape from the lash.

He had seen the wounds that marred Estel's back when he had lain healing in Rivendell, but had tried to avoid thinking too much about the brutality that had caused them. The sight of his Estel enduring such torture and cruelty made him feel physically sick.

The beating did not stop until the orc with the whip grew tired of his sport. After re-attaching the bloody whip to his belt, the orc seize Estel's face roughly. "Where is it, human? Tell me how to find Rivendell, and your suffering will end."

Estel's body shivered convulsively with the pain, but he still managed a harsh, bitter-sounding laugh. "There - there is no end to suffering for me. I will not tell you."

Angered at Estel's insolence, the orc drew his scimitar from his belt and slowly, deliberately, drew it from his hairline all the way down to his jaw. "Tell me or the poison from the blade will kill you."

A whimper of pain could not be held back, but Estel stood his ground. He was in too much pain to reply again, and he slowly slipped into unconsciousness, his last thought one of satisfaction that his loved ones would be safe.

Elrond's throat constricted in horror as Estel was left to hang limply from the post, his young body beaten and battered to the point of unconsciousness.

"Enjoying your stay in the human's mind, Elrond?"

At the sound of the now-familiar voice, Elrond whirled around, trying to catch a glimpse of the creature in its true form. He could see two glowing, yellow eyes that seemed to hang disembodied in the mist. Gradually, the fog swirled, coming together to form a figure that vaguely resembled a wizard, holding a staff.

"I was with him, you know. Even as the orcs beat him, I was inside his mind, though I had not yet made my presence known. I must say, you did a thorough job with him. By the time I got to him, my work had been done for me. The human succumbed easily to despair."

The Lord of Imladris glared at the creature. "It is my turn to ask questions and receive answers. Who are you, and why do you torment us? Do you not realize that I am the bearer of a Ring of Power? I have kept evil from Rivendell with its power for centuries. How is it that you escaped my notice?"

A cold, chilling chuckle echoed strangely, seeming to come from every direction at once. "What kind of question is that? I came into Rivendell at your invitation. When you exiled the human, you invited despair into his heart. When you brought him back to Rivendell, the despair was yet a part of him. Thus, my presence here."

"I do not understand!"

With an eerie sigh, the creature took on a posture of annoyance. "Surely you of all beings in Middle Earth understand that all gifts offered by Sauron come with a price? That is why you use Vilya sparingly, is it not?"

Elrond did not gratify the creature with a response.

"I was once of flesh and blood, but now I feed only upon despair. I would have been a wizard, would have sat at council with Gandalf the Grey, Radagast the Brown, and Saruman the White. I took a staff, offered to me by Sauron, and this is what became of me. I am a tool of the Dark Lord, sent to bring suffering to the house of Elrond Half-Elven. For my effort, I was promised all of the pain and despair to devour that I could hold. I have not yet been disappointed. Between the two of your sons whose minds I now inhabit, I feel sated for the first time in centuries. But, they are mere appetizers compared to you, Elrond Half-Elven."

**************************************************************************** ***

In Estel's room, Elrohir, Legolas, Glorfindel, and Arwen stood watch. Mithrandir stood, holding his staff out before him, ready to intervene if it became necessary. When tears began to roll down Elrond's cheeks, Arwen was the first to notice.

"Ada! Elrohir, Ada is crying!"

Sadly, her brother shook his head. "He must have seen something terrible in Estel's mind. Mithrandir, should we bring him out of it now?"

The wizard sighed. "No, not yet. I'm afraid this could get much worse before Elrond finishes his task."

Legolas moved to kneel beside Estel's still form, gently brushing back stray locks of hair from the human's forehead. "You have seen much that I wish you had not, my friend. Do not give in, Estel. I am with you."

"Why do you comfort Estel when it is Elrond who is distressed?" Glorfindel asked, eyeing Legolas curiously.

The Prince of Mirkwood did not remove his hand from Estel's forehead. "Because the memory or thought that has caused Lord Elrond's distress is Estel's to bear."

Glorfindel thought for a moment then nodded. "I see. Where is Elladan? Why is he not here?"

Legolas, Elrohir, and Arwen exchanged glances, and finally, Elrohir explained softly, "We argued, and he did not wish to be here. He remained in his room."

The blond warrior of Rivendell frowned in concern, but Elrohir shrugged the concern away. "Elladan and I will make our peace, have no fear, Glorfindel. Right now, it is Estel and Ada who need me."

**************************************************************************** ***

Flashback ...

"Ada! Ada, come quickly! Elrohir has awakened!" Elladan shouted as he ran into his father's study. Normally, he would never have barged in on his father in such a manner, but his excitement at hearing that his twin was awake banished such inhibitions.

Elladan found his father seated at his desk, busily scribbling a note onto parchment.

"Elladan! Calm yourself, my son. Have you spoken with him yet?"

"No, I was just informed by one of the healers that my brother was awake and had asked for you."

Since the departure of Lady Celebrian, the house of the Peredhil had been quiet, with an underlying sense of sadness. Galadriel and Celeborn yet remained to wait for their grandson to awaken, but they had spent much of their time comforting Arwen. Elrond had been holed up in his study, and had given instructions that he was busy and should not be disturbed.

Elladan and Elrond strode hurriedly to the healers' ward. When they arrived, one of the healers was trying to keep a struggling Elrohir in his bed.

"Mother! Where is my mother? Elladan? Where is he? Why do you prevent me from rising? I have to find Elladan!"

Rushing to his brother's side, Elladan sat down, wrapping his arms around his twin. "Elrohir, I am here. Shh, shh, you must lie still. You are yet wounded."

"Where is Mother? Why is she not here? Is - is she ."

"No." Elrond interrupted his son before he could ask if she was dead. "She lives, but has sailed for the Grey Havens."

The confusion was apparent on the wounded young elf's face. "Gone? She has already departed? How - how long was I unconscious?"

When Elrond did not answer, Elladan spoke, "Seven days, brother. You have lain unconscious for seven days. She left on the fourth."

Elrohir frowned, his eyes filled with pain. "Did she say anything before she left? What were her parting words?"

"She had none. The last time I saw her was the last time you did. She would see no one save Ada and our grandparents. They are still here, but when they depart, Arwen will return to Lothlorien with them."

Elrohir let out a broken sigh that sounded suspiciously like a sob. "Why? Elladan, why did she - how could she - why does Ada stand there? Will he depart as well? Is - is he going to leave us too?"

At the note of desperate grief in his son's voice, Elrond could remain standing apart no longer. He slowly lowered himself down onto the bed, taking Elrohir's chin gently in his hand. "I am here, my son. I will not leave you. Your - your mother did not do so by preference. She was too badly damaged to remain here in Middle Earth."

Elrond's words did not comfort his sons, and Elrohir burst out, "It is my fault! I could not reach her, could not save her in time. I should have protected her."

Elladan protested, "No! You nearly died protecting her. If I had been faster, I could have saved you."

"Stop, both of you!" Elrond's outburst caught and held the attention of both of his sons. "Do not take blame that is not yours to own. Your mother would not have you live in torment and guilt."

Those words of their father's, meant to comfort, to soothe anxious minds, had the opposite effect. Whether Celebrian would have had it or not, guilt took hold in the minds of her sons, and it was many long years until one would come along who could again bring laughter into the house of the Peredhil.

End Flashback.

**************************************************************************** ********

"No, not your fault, Elrohir. Mine. Could have saved you, could have saved her." Elladan buried his head in his knees, helpless to fight against the overwhelming onslaught of memory and despair.


	8. Chapter 8

Estel came to awareness slowly, not a physical awakeness, but an awareness of his own thoughts. Almost instantly, he felt the crushing pressure envelop his consciousness.

"Welcome back, young one. I have missed you."

The yellow mist surrounded him, squeezing until he cried out in pain. "You do cause trouble, don't you, human?"

When Estel did not reply, the mist tightened its hold. The young ranger gasped, but could make no sound.

"Your entire elven family suffers for your mortality, as do your beloved and your friends. Elrond has suffered much, with the departure of his wife and the choice of his twin. Now, he suffers because of you. He entered your mind to rescue you, and now that he is here, he can do nothing to save the son of his blood. Perhaps you would like to see what you've done?"

Still unable to draw breath, Estel did not respond. The mist released him, solidifying into the ethereal form of a wizard. The wizard-shaped ether laughed grimly. "Good. I knew you would agree."

Without warning, Estel found himself in Elladan's room. His brother sat on the floor, his head pressed into his knees. The elf was obviously in distress, and Estel's first instinct was to give comfort.

"Elladan! Why do you grieve, brother?"

The elf did not acknowledge him, and so Estel reached out his hand to touch his shoulder. To his surprise, his hand went right through.

"You can only observe. He can neither hear you nor see you." An unearthly cackle sent shivers through Estel's soul. "Watch and listen. His memories, his thoughts, what he truly thinks of you."

In a moment of defiance that was reminiscent of the old Estel, the one who had existed before despair had entered his mind, he shouted angrily, "Elladan is my brother! He sat with me, the whole time I was in the water, he stayed with me!"

"No more than he would have done for his horse. You are stubborn, young one, in the faith you place in these elves, but you will soon break. When you see the truth, it will break you."

Estel was assailed with a barrage of emotion, grief, and memory. He saw Elrond, his face darkened with anger, exiling him from Rivendell. He saw himself as a child, struggling to keep up with his brothers, feeling his human inferiority deeply. He felt the cloying, suffocating weight of his destiny, felt as though his ribs would splinter under the weight of the burden. Among the swirling thoughts and memories was one so unexpected, a memory so - so wrong that it had to be trickery. He saw the twins, Legolas, and Arwen, and he heard their conversation. He heard Elladan say aloud that he had prayed to the Valar to thank them that it was Estel and not Elrohir grievously wounded.

 

The form of the wizard waited, and if evil, ethereal beings could be said to smile, then the creature was practically grinning in anticipation of the feast he would soon have, a feast of despair. But, things did not work out according to his plan. Instead of the despair he craved, he felt only a fleeting sense of flat resignation, followed by bright, righteous anger. He had not shown the ranger anything he had not already known, and that gave Estel a momentary advantage.

"Any fool can manipulate words and emotions when the context is ignored! Remove your foul presence from my brother's mind! You shall not have us both!"

Because the link that enabled the creature to be in two places at once was the bond of shared guilt and pain between Estel and his elven brother, Estel was able to sever the tie between the creature and Elladan. Once the bond was disrupted, Elladan was effectively cut free.

The haze dissipated and reassembled, assuming the form of Elrond, and an unearthly chuckle once again caused Estel to shiver.

"If that is the way you want it, young one, then you shall have me all to yourself."

**************************************************************************** **

With a startled gasp, Elladan sat up straight. His thoughts were jumbled, but he was starting to remember something terrible, something about Estel ...

"Estel!" Elladan shouted aloud, as he scrambled to his feet. He had been a prisoner in his own mind, a prisoner of despair. He could remember seeing his human brother, and with a cry of horror, he understood what had transpired. Estel had seen his thoughts, he knew what he had thought and said. Worse, it had been no surprise.

Leaning on the post of his bed momentarily to regain his equilibrium, Elladan knew what he had to do. He ran as quickly as he could to Estel's room, throwing the door wide open.

**************************************************************************** **

"Watch him, Elrond. Do not turn away. Well, I suppose I should have said don't turn away again, since you have, after all, abandoned him before. I have put some images in his mind that are among the more unpleasant ones in his memory. And, as you well know by now, he has some truly grisly memories."

Elrond glared at the creature with pure hatred as he watched Estel writhing and moaning, unable to cope with the onslaught of horror the former wizard had unleashed upon him.

"Did you know, for example, that when your pet human was a small child, he used to pray to the Valar every night that they would make him an elf, so that his father would love him as much as he loved his elven children?"

When Elrond made no reply, the creature continued. "Do you know how long your precious Arwen had to persist in her attentions before he would believe that she could truly wish to spend time with him? Here, here is the one I was looking for!"

"What? My patience is wearing thin, foul one!"

"It is true that you may leave here whenever you like, but you will not leave without your human. Thus, your grief at what you see in his mind is mine to feed upon as well!"

Instantly, Elrond found himself inside another of Estel's memories, this one very recent. Estel lay on his bed, wounded, ill, and exhausted. Legolas sat beside him. Elrond heard the words his human son uttered in the strictest confidence to Legolas Greenleaf, and he felt that his heart would break.

**************************************************************************** ***

Flashback.

Haltingly, Estel spoke, "It - it is never enough. It will never be enough, no matter ... no matter how hard I push myself, how hard I try. It seems I must resign myself to a life of duty and exhaustion from the trying."

"Trying? Estel, I don't understand. Explain to me what it is you mean." Legolas frowned in concern. He had not known that such dark emotions had gained a hold upon his friend.

"I would die for them, Legolas. Any one of them, and for you. If I could give my life to ensure Arwen's eternal happiness in the Gray Havens, I would do so, but as it is, she would grieve my passing too much, or worse, blame herself. Elladan and Elrohir are the brothers of my heart, and Ada ... he has lost so much. If I live, I take from him his daughter, and if I die, he loses a son. I believe he could weather my loss were it not for the destiny he has brought me up to claim. The despair of living in a world fallen to shadow is not something I could do to him. Ere, I must try to live up to my destiny, no matter that it is not what I want. It is

worse than simply not wanting it, I fear and despise the idea of what I must be and the things I must do. It hangs around my neck like a great weight and crushes the breath from my chest." Estel shivered. "The feeling has been growing, Legolas. Some evil brews, and it calls to me. It wants me to fight it, to fight it and die."

"Estel, you are becoming too agitated. You must rest."

"Don't you see? I can't. Rest is to be forever denied me. I must work constantly to take on my role as Isildur's heir, traveling with the Rangers, scouting for Ada and Gandalf. Then, if I survive, I must be King of Men. There will be no rest for me when the personal safety of all those under my rule is my responsibility. I will not have rest until I am dead. The Evenstar was the only light shining in the future for me, and her light has been dimmed by Lord Elrond's disapproval."

Legolas sighed deeply, resting his hand gently on Estel's cheek, and murmured, "You were called 'hope' because that is what you bring to Middle Earth. It is a cruel twist that in bringing hope to others, there is none left for you. I promise you, Estel. I swear to you that you will not face your destiny alone. I will be with you, and I will not abandon you, even unto death."

"Please, don't make promises that you cannot keep. One day, you will sail to the Gray Havens, as will my brothers, my father, and my beloved, if Ada has his way. I will be alone with the destiny I accepted only for those who would leave me."

Legolas found that tears welled in his eyes at the unfairness of Estel's position. "I make no promise that I do not intend to keep, my friend. You know this about me. I will not sail for the Havens until after you have passed on from this Middle Earth. The cry of the gulls will not take me from you until that day. I swear to you, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, that you will not be left alone with your burden."

In answer, Estel smiled, the gratitude in his eyes so real that it was nearly tangible. "Thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me that I will not suffer and die alone. It makes it ... bearable."

End flashback .

**************************************************************************** *********

Elrond felt his eyes burning with unshed tears. His Estel, the human who had become the son of his heart faced a life with nothing to look forward to save duty and abandonment. The worst part of all was that it was true. Bearable. Elrond made a mental note to thank Legolas Greenleaf for his devotion. The Prince of Mirkwood's friendship might be the only thing that would ease Estel's hurt when Elrond and his children departed to the Havens. When Elrond and his sons departed, the elf-lord corrected himself. He was an elf of his word, and if Arwen chose to stay, he had agreed to allow it. His train of thought stopped when he realized that Estel was before him, the foul creature standing over him.

Estel cried out, his expressive gray eyes wide but unseeing.

Furious, Elrond shouted, "What have you done to him? Let him go!"

"I have done nothing, Elrond. I have shown him the truth, that is all."

Gently, Elrond reached out to his human son's mind. "Then I will show him the truth as well. Estel is an intelligent man. He will see the difference between 'truths'."

"No!"

The creature's voice was thready with poorly disguised panic, and Elrond realized that this must mean that he was on the right track. Ignoring the protestations of the former wizard, Elrond concentrated on opening his own mind to Estel.

"Come, my son. I have invaded your thoughts with the intent of helping you, and now I open mine to you. I will hold nothing back from you, that you might understand how much your family truly loves you."

Estel's voice, weak with exhaustion, answered him. "Ada? Is it truly you?"

"Yes, my Estel. Come with me back to the light, that we might banish this darkness from your brother as well." Elrond fixed the ethereal servant of Sauron with a murderous glare. "Let us banish this darkness together."

**************************************************************************** ***

Legolas sat on the bed next to Estel, his hand resting on the young ranger's forehead. Whenever he began to show signs of distress, Legolas would whisper to him in elvish, gently stroking the sweaty, disheveled locks of hair away from his face. Arwen and Elrohir stood at his other side, watching over both Elrond and his human son.

Arwen sighed. "They do not awake, and Estel has only become more agitated. Could something have gone wrong? What if Ada is stuck inside Estel's mind forever?"

Mithrandir assured her, "That will not happen. I can pull Elrond into his body at any moment. I am simply trying to give him enough time to finish his task and come back of his own volition." The old wizard's expression softened. "Estel is strong. He will come back as well, once Elrond frees him from that which imprisons his mind."

At that moment, the door to Estel's chamber flew open, and Elladan tore into the room. His dark hair hung in disarray, and his eyes were opened wide with what appeared to be frantic worry. Elrohir rushed to his twin's side, offering his support.

"Elladan! Be calm, my brother. What has caused this strange mood?"

The elf twisted out of his brother's grasp. "Estel! He - he saved me, but now it - it has him! He saw, oh, Elrohir, he knows the terrible things I thought and said, and he saved me anyway."

Legolas did not move from Estel's side, continuing to stroke the unruly strands of hair away from his face. "What do you mean that he saved you? He is unconscious. I have not left his side."

Elladan explained, to the best of his ability, what had happened, that the evil spell that imprisoned Estel was caused by a servant of Sauron, a creature that might once have been a wizard.

"It took me, or tried to, the way it took Estel. It is difficult to explain, but as Ada has gone into Estel's mind to free him, Estel was in mine. I saw so many terrible things, all of them memories, images from reality. The - the creature forced Estel into my mind to torment him, to use my thoughts and memories to show him that his family does not care for him."

Angrily, Legolas glared at the twin. "And?"

Elladan looked down, ashamed. "I do not entirely understand what happened, but things did not go as the creature had planned. Estel demanded that I be freed, and he - he did something, something that must have set me free."

Glorfindel took Elladan's arm, encouraging the younger elf to sit down. "Estel needs his family and friends around him. We do not know what state he will be in when he wakes." Although Glorfindel was partial to the twins he had helped to raise, Estel was close to his heart as well. To lose one so young would be a tragedy from which the household of Elrond would not recover quickly.

"A would-be wizard a servant of Sauron. Hmm, I have heard, long ago from Saruman the White that it is not impossible. Perhaps he knows more of this - this creature than do I. If time allowed, I would seek his counsel, but it seems that this battle must be fought now." Mithrandir stroked his beard in thought. "I do not believe that the accident was, in fact, an accident."

All eyes in the room were on Mithrandir. Legolas Greenleaf was the first

to speak. "I agree. In order for this - this Sauron-cursed being to harm Estel, it had to first weaken him in body and spirit."

Elladan nodded. "Of course. The - the creature does its damage in the mind, with memory and thought. It is ethereal, formless. I - I saw it as Mother, as Estel ... and others."

"But, you said that it harms through the mind, not the body. How would it have caused an accident that was physical?" Glorfindel raised his eyebrows in question.

"The servants of Sauron are many more than we know. Any number of foul creature might have caused the branch to fall. It is not important to understand the details at this time. Now, we must wait. It will not be long now." The elderly wizard changed his staff from left hand to right in a gesture that might have suggested nervousness had he not been Gandalf the Gray.

**************************************************************************** *

Elrond and Estel stood side by side, united in their determination to destroy the creature that had caused them both so much pain.

"Do you understand what it is we must do, Estel?"

The young ranger nodded. "Yes, Ada."

Before them, the former wizard hovered, paralyzed by the truth he was forced to see. "No, you don't understand, you can't understand what he will do to me, to you!"

"If the answer to that question is that he will kill you, destroy you, or otherwise prevent you from existing, then that is exactly the answer that I was looking for." Elrond's face was set in a stubborn, angry glare.

Still trying to bargain for his 'life', the creature babbled, "He - he made me do it! I had no choice! The storm was the perfect opportunity! I was already in Estel's mind, but his defenses, his faith in others was so strong, I could not fight it alone. Sauron sent other servants to ensure that the branch fell, and I was in place already. I knew that if his brother was in danger, Estel would risk his own life to save him, and I was right, I was right. The accident weakened his body, the fever from the time he spent in the freezing water weakened his mind, and I did as my master commanded. I was only a tool, you cannot blame me!"

Elrond and Estel joined hands, projecting the truth that was in their minds into that of the creature, who writhed as if in pain. The elven lord snapped angrily, "And yet I do."

Estel continued, "You are to blame for your actions, for it was you who chose to accept power offered by that which you knew to be not of the light!"

When the creature again screamed out, as if in agony, it began to dissipate, the yellowish fog becoming thinner until it was gone entirely.

"Ada? What happened? How did seeing our minds devoid of hate kill it - er, him?"

Lord Elrond Half-Elven heaved a sigh of relief, pulling his son to him in a powerful hug. "Estel, my son. Sauron twisted him to survive on and consist of despair. The antithesis of despair is hope. It was not I who defeated that creature. Despair and hope could not co-exist within the same being. Now, we must return to our bodies. I am sure that everyone will be quite worried about us by now."


	9. Chapter 9

The first thing that he was aware of was pain. His body was every bit as wounded as it had been before he had lost consciousness. For a brief moment, he wished that he could remain asleep until the pain had gone, but he quickly changed his mind when he saw Arwen leaning over him, her long, delicate fingers poised to stroke his hair gently. Estel struggled to open his eyes, but the lids seemed too heavy to be moved. He could hear voices, all around him there were voices, and he gave a sigh, relieved that he was not alone.

With a monumental effort, he managed to open his eyes and keep them open. He opened his mouth to speak, but his throat was too dry to make a sound.

"Shh, do not try to speak, not until Legolas returns with the water he is fetching for you."

Estel nodded weakly, allowing Arwen and Elrohir to help him into a sitting position. Moments later, Legolas appeared with a carafe of water. When he saw that Estel was sitting up and awake, his face broke into a grin.

"Estel! It is high time you awakened, lazy human!"

The young ranger drank thirstily for several moments before wiping his mouth with his good arm. He smiled warmly at Legolas. "'Tis a pity that this lazy human awakened only to find himself faced with the prissiest elf in all Middle Earth!"

Legolas laughed out loud and carefully embraced his friend. "Oh, Estel. You have no idea how worried I was for you. How worried all of us were. When Lord Elrond awakened and you did not, we were all afraid ... but, your Ada looked you over and said that you were just sleeping, that the - the thing was gone." The elf let go suddenly. "How do you feel? Did I hurt you? Here you've only just opened your eyes, and I am already manhandling you."

In response, Estel wrapped his good arm and hugged the elf prince tightly. "I am fine, Legolas. Do not worry. I feel much better than I have for a long time."

Elrohir rolled his eyes at his younger brother in disbelief. "From his sickbed, still damp with the sweat of fever, and suffering from wounds sustained while a large tree lay atop his chest, he tells me that he is 'fine'?"

At this, even Estel had to laugh, though it hurt his healing ribs terribly. "I suppose that you are right." His face grew serious. "Where are Ada and Elladan? Are - are they all right?"

Arwen helped him to lay back down, letting her fingers brush lightly across his cheek. "They are well. Ada has gone to see to Elladan. The creature that sought to harm you sought to harm Elladan as well. He is not wounded, but he grieves yet for what he has lost and what he believes he has lost."

"I know what it did to him. I was inside his mind. He grieves for the Lady Celebrian's departure. To him, the pain is as fresh as when she first left these shores." Estel looked down, his eyes shadowed with sadness.

Elrohir and Arwen exchanged glances, and the twin picked up where his sister had left off. "He grieves also for the loss of his brother. He knows what you saw in his mind, and the very sight of you causes the guilt to gnaw at him."

"I would not be a contributor to such pain as I felt inside his mind. If I could rise from this bed, I would go to him, but as it is, it seems that one of you must bring him to me." Estel spoke softly, his gaze still directed to the floor.

"What would you say to him?" Elrohir asked, as he gently raised his human brother's chin, forcing him to look at the elf. The sadness in the depths of Estel's gray eyes was staggering.

"I would say to him that he is my brother and ever shall be. I would speak with him of the evil spell that sought to destroy us, and I would seek to comfort him." Estel tried to look away from Elrohir when he added softly, "And seek comfort in return."

Legolas rose from where he sat beside his friend. "If you wish to speak with him, then I will find him for you. I will also alert Lord Elrond that you are awake."

Estel smiled his thanks, but Legolas could not help but notice that the smile did not reach his eyes.

********************************************************

When the Prince of Mirkwood had informed him that his son had awakened, the elf-lord found that walking was not fast enough to bring him to Estel's side with the speed he desired. Thus, Elrond had slammed full-force into Glorfindel as the blond elf rounded the corner. Elrond could not remember the last time he had fallen, sprawled out on the floor with a hole in his leggings like an elfling, but the amused expression on his old friend's face and the hole in his good leggings both seemed small prices to pay for the sheer joy of seeing Estel awake and well.

Entering Estel's chambers, Elrond saw that Arwen sat with Estel, reading to him from a book of elvish poetry, one slender hand resting lightly on his chest. Estel's grey eyes watched her as she read, and Elrond was struck by the depth of emotion they held. It was obvious and would have been to any man, elf, or Valar forbid, dwarf, that might have seen them together that Estel loved her more than life itself. There was an incredulous joy on his eyes that said that even yet, he was astonished that she had chosen him upon whom to lavish her attention.

Elrond felt a pang of guilt. After being inside Estel's mind, he now understood the fears and insecurities as though they were his own. That would make it more difficult by far when it came time for Estel to fulfill his destiny. Knowing how his son felt about his destiny and heritage, Elrond felt that he would rather by far be torn limb from limb by a pack of hungry wargs than insist that his Estel become Aragorn and later Elessar, for it would hurt far less.

Arwen noticed Elrond's presence before Estel, and she stood to greet him. "Ada, did Legolas find you?"

"Yes. I came as quickly as I could when he told me you had awakened, Estel."

Estel struggled into a sitting position, and Elrond adjusted the pillows behind his back to make him more comfortable.

Arwen set down her book and leaned down to place a gentle kiss on Estel's forehead. "I will return after a while. I would like to speak with Legolas, if I can find him."

When Arwen had gone, Elrond sat down on the bed, his eyes alert for signs of illness or pain from his son. "Estel."

The young ranger met his father's eyes slowly. "Ada."

"Estel, I don't know how to begin, what words I should use to tell you how my heart rejoices to have you back with us. I spoke with Elladan, and I know what you did. You have saved both of your brothers' lives, and I am so proud of your strength of character that it brings tears to my eyes. Tears of joy that you are my son."

Estel reached for his father's hand and squeezed it. "You saved me, Ada. You entered my mind at great peril to bring me out of the darkness." The human shivered. "It was so very dark ... I was afraid."

"I know. I was in your mind, and I was afraid as well. Sauron's creature was adept at creating the despair upon which he fed. Estel, I did not know that - that you still dreamed of when I exiled you. I did not understand the pain, both physical and mental." The elf-lord drew his human son to him in a careful embrace, his voice choking slightly with emotion. "Now, I understand it all too well. Before I lose my nerve, before I once again make excuses to myself for not saying it, and before destiny interferes with what we truly desire, I want to tell you that I love you, my son. I love you and I am proud of the child you were and of the man you have become."

Estel returned the embrace, too happy to be ashamed of his tears. "I love you, Ada. Thank you for saving me." He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "How is Elladan? Legolas told me that he would find him and tell him that I wished to speak with him."

Elrond frowned worriedly. "I will tell you the truth, though it pains me to do so. Your brother is not well. Sauron's creature tortured him with memories the way he did you. Celebrian's departure was harder for Elladan than perhaps it was even for me."

Estel's gray eyes widened in surprise. In all of the time he had lived in the household of Elrond, the elf-lord had never spoken to him directly about Celebrian. He had overheard conversations between Elrond and Glorfindel, and the twins had occasionally mentioned her, but as far as Estel could remember, this was the first time Elrond had ever initiated a conversation about her. He felt a swell of pride that his elven father considered him adult enough and trusted enough to speak with him about the departed Lady of Imladris.

"You see, Estel, I have made errors with all of my children, not just you. After Celebrian departed, I was devastated. Elladan, Elrohir, and Arwen needed me, and I was too eaten up with my own grief to think of their needs. They lost more than their mother that day." Elrond paused, shaking his head sadly. "Elrohir was gravely wounded in the rescue of Celebrian from the orcs. Elladan somehow got his mother onto his horse, and then he carried Elrohir in his arms. He could not have made it to Rivendell in time to save their lives, but Glorfindel and his men arrived in time. Elrohir almost died, and when he finally awakened, Celebrian had already gone. She did not bid her children farewell, not even when I told her that Elrohir might die. I know that it was not her fault, that she was broken in spirit as well as in body, and I knew it at the time. Nonetheless, when Elladan and Arwen expressed their anger, I reacted badly. I belittled their feelings of betrayal, forbade them their anger. Arwen left for Lothlorien with Galadriel and Celeborn because I drove her to it. Elladan and Elrohir remained, but it was several lifetimes of Men before our hearts could even begin to recover. Elladan and Elrohir became obsessed with hunting and killing orcs. They traveled with the rangers and were frequently away for months at a time. Arathorn was perhaps the first human to truly befriend them. He even took them home with him to meet his wife. In some ways, Arathorn and Gilraen were closer to my sons than I was. Their deaths hurt the twins deeply. When Elladan and Elrohir came back to Rivendell with you, our lives changed. You were so small, my Estel. I had forgotten how very small and dependent children are, as it had been millenia since my own children were small. You buried your face in Elladan's neck and would not come to me at first. I had to cajole you away from him with sweets."

At this, Estel laughed softly. "Lord Elrond of Imladris had to bribe a human toddler with candy?"

Elrond smiled at him. "Lord Elrond of Imladris is far from perfect, as you are learning. As a matter of fact, I very nearly knocked Glorfindel off of his feet out in the hallway a short while ago. I was in such a rush to see you when Legolas told me you had awakened, that I ran through my own halls like an unruly elfling."

"You ran in the halls? Ada, how many times did you instruct me otherwise when I was a child? You set a poor example." Estel teased his father gently, for running in the halls had been his particular bad habit.

"If I remember correctly, the last time I had to admonish you for the same crime was a mere two weeks ago. And, I believe that it was also Glorfindel that you nearly crashed into." Elrond ruffled Estel's hair affectionately. "Never change, my son. Seeing you lie so still these last few days, I would have given anything to see you race through my halls again."

Estel grew serious again, his smile turning into a worried frown. "What of Elladan? Will he speak with me, or has the damage done by the creature of Sauron driven us apart? The - the memories and thoughts of his that the creature used to - to weaken my spirit, they were not pleasant." He stopped, looking down at his hands as though afraid to continue. "Ada, have I angered him? Is there something I have done to make him wish to be rid of me? Is it ... is it because of Arwen? Please, tell me if you know, for some of my earliest memories are of Elladan carrying me around, placing me on the back of his horse and leading me around the yard by the stables. I remember falling asleep as a small child, and Elladan carrying me to bed, reading to me, teaching me to fight, to ride, to use a sword

and bow ... "

Elrond could see that his son was becoming agitated. He knew how much his elven brothers meant to Estel. "Estel, be calm. Do not borrow trouble, for you have had enough of that without adding unnecessary guilt. Elladan is not angry with you, he is angry with himself. His gut reaction has always been and ever shall be to protect his twin. That is the way with twins, Estel. My brother Elros and I were every bit as close as Elrohir and Elladan. When he chose mortality, I did not believe that I would ever enjoy life again."

"How long did it take?"

"About two hundred years. By that time, the pain of his passing had dulled."

"Two hundred years! Ada, I am mortal! If it takes two hundred years for Elladan to speak to me, then I shall be long dead, Numenorian blood or not!"

Elrond felt a pang of fear in his heart at the word 'dead', but did not react outwardly. "You are right, Estel. It is not fair of him to ignore you. I spoke to him once, and I believe that Legolas is with him now. Perhaps the Prince of Mirkwood will have more luck than I did."

**********************************************************

"Legolas, enough! I have told father, and I have told you, I will not do it! The last thing Estel needs right now is me!"

The dark-haired elf spun away from his golden-haired friend, crossing his arms stubbornly.

Legolas put a hand to his forehead in frustration, and shouted, "No, it is the first thing he needs! Elladan, don't you understand? He believes that you are angry with him! I know Estel, as do you. You know how he takes on blame that is not his to shoulder! How could you burden him when he has just been through so much? He would have come to you himself, but because his injuries prevent him from walking, he sent me! He wants to see you, wants to know that you are all right. He needs you, my friend."

Elladan laughed harshly. "He needs you, Legolas. He needs Arwen, and Elrohir and Ada. He does not need a brother such as I."

"I cannot force you, but please know that you are hurting him with your indifference. The experience with the creature of Sauron has left him far more shaken than he cares to admit, even to Elrond. You know how Estel desires his approval. He does not want to admit more weakness than he has already. He needs to talk about what happened with someone who understands."

"Understanding? You speak to me of understanding? Legolas, I understand no more than does Estel. For me to speak with him would be worse than useless."

Legolas stared at his friend sadly. "You truly have no care for him then? You would choose to ignore him until his mortal life has come to an end? You would allow your brother to go to his grave believing that you did not care? I suppose it is convenient for you that to we elves his lifespan will pass quickly. I have already made a promise to him that I will stay with him until he passes. When Estel is gone, I will sail to the Havens and not before. Please, Elladan. I do not often beg, but I am begging you now to speak with Estel."

When Elladan made no reply, Legolas shook his head and stalked away, muttering angrily under his breath about stubborn elves and foolishly noble humans. He did not see Elladan sit down hard on his bed, cover his face with his hands, and begin to weep.

******************************************************

"Gandalf? Would you tell the story about the dwarves again?" Estel was sitting up, propped against soft pillows. Elrohir and Legolas grimaced at the mention of dwarves.

"Estel, I do not understand your fascination with that story. Why do you wish to hear about greedy dwarves fighting for treasure?" Elrohir's eyebrows rose in confusion.

Legolas agreed. "I was in Mirkwood at the time, when those dwarves and their hobbit came bumbling through. Barrels! They escaped us in barrels. To this day, it makes me laugh, though I do not know if my father will ever be able to get past it enough to find it funny."

"I like the story because of Bilbo. The old hobbit is quite interesting. He has visited from time to time in Rivendell, and once when I was younger, he helped me get out of a tight spot."

"What had you done?" Legolas teased his friend.

Estel flushed pink in remembered embarrassment. "Why must you assume that I had done something?"

"Because I know you, ranger. What had you done?"

Looking to Gandalf for help, Estel found none, for the elderly wizard was watching him as expectantly as the Prince of Mirkwood. "I seem to remember Bilbo telling me something about harboring a young human fugitive, but I fear I've forgotten the rest of the tale."

"I had played a terrible prank on the twins. They were, quite rightfully, I might add, chasing me down so that they could toss me into the river in retribution." Estel tried to change the subject, "Anyway, what happened next, Gandalf? You were telling a story and I did not intend to interrupt."

Legolas was not about to be put off so easily. "Oh no, Estel. I would like to know what you could have done to your brothers to make them wish to toss you into the river. It must have been truly spectacular."

"It was." Elrohir grinned at his human brother and ruffled his hair affectionately. "You learned from the best. We did not realize exactly how much you had learned from us." He turned to Gandalf and Legolas, still smiling. "The little scamp must have made an entire afternoon of it. First, he switched the contents of our wardrobes. Then, he arranged it so that I had only left shoes and Elladan had only right. Not to be outdone, he thieved all of Glorfindel's left shoes and framed us for the theft. To this day, Glorfindel still believes that Elladan and I were the ones who played the joke. Because of the confusion, we were all late for a very important meeting, and Lord Elrond was not happy with us."

Estel covered his face with his good arm in embarrassment, but he was laughing. "Like I said, I had the best of teachers. When I saw the two of them tearing after me, I ran. I ducked into Bilbo's room, and he was kind enough to hide me behind the tapestries. I spent the rest of the afternoon with him, both for my own protection and because he told some wonderful stories."

The two elves, the wizard, and the young ranger laughed at the story, their merry voices carrying down the hall. As he passed the corridor that contained Estel's room, Elladan paused. Not so long ago, he would have been in there, laughing with them. Now ... now, things were different. He was glad to hear Estel laugh again, even if he was not there to

participate in the fun.

*********************************************************

Late at night, Estel was alone. He had been proclaimed well enough that it was no longer necessary for someone to sit with him throughout the night, and so he had insisted that his family and friends take some rest. Now, he was starting to wish that he had not sent them all away.

Rest would not come for Estel. His mind was by far too active with the memories of his ordeal with the creature of Sauron to allow him to relax. During the day, Legolas, Elrohir, and the others distracted him from thinking about it, but when he was alone, it preoccupied his every thought. Every time he closed his eyes, he imagined that he could hear the eerie voice of the former wizard. The memories and pain the experience had dredged up inside his mind were more painful by far than the physical wounds from which he still recovered. Worse than all of these things together was Elladan's conspicuous absence.

More than anyone, Estel understood how much his elven brother had suffered. He had seen the terrible images and memories the creature had forced the elf to relive. Although they had not spoken of it, Estel knew that Legolas, Elrohir, and Elrond had all been to see Elladan to convince him to visit Estel. Still, his brother did not come.

Seized with a sudden sense of determination, Estel pushed his aching body into a sitting position. He gasped as his ribs protested, then bit his lip to keep from crying out as he stood, putting weight on his injured leg for the first time since the "accident". Slowly, he dragged himself down the hallway, toward the suite of rooms that belonged to the twins. Each room had an outside door, but the bedrooms were connected on the inside to each other and to a sitting room that both used as a study. Estel reached out a hand shaking with exertion to open the door that led right into his brother's bedroom.

When he was very small and used to wake in the night from bad dreams or because of a storm, he had frequently run to Elladan for comfort. Over the years, Estel had grown from a child into a man, while his elven brothers appeared not to have aged at all. Standing in the hallway with his hand poised on the door, Estel felt very much like the frightened child from years past. Pushing the door open, he limped into the room only to find it empty. The bed was unmade, but there was no Elladan in it. Estel felt his head begin to swim with dizziness, and he reached out to steady himself by holding onto one of the bedposts. Fiery pain stabbed in his chest and in his leg, and he gave a soft cry as his splinted arm made sharp contact with the unforgiving wood. As if to follow suit, his leg buckled beneath him, and the young human found himself on the floor. He tried several times to rise, but he had so overextended himself that the effort caused him to lose consciousness.


	10. Chapter 10

Elladan had been out for most of the night, wandering outside in the gardens and then standing out on the bridge that spanned the river. His thoughts had been for the most part dark, but around midnight, he found himself recalling the words Legolas had spoken to him. Legolas had said that Estel wished to speak with him, that he harbored no anger. Could it be true? Was it possible that his brother would forgive him? Legolas had also said that Estel blamed himself, that he believed that Elladan was within his rights to be angry with him. The idea of his little brother passing from Middle Earth still believing that he was to blame for things he could not have hoped to control affected him deeply.

After a night of restless wandering and soul-searching, Elladan arrived at the door to his bedroom having come to the conclusion that whether Estel was angry with him or not was not the issue. In order for either of them to have peace, Elladan needed to face Estel. He stopped short when he saw that the door was already open. Not wishing to wake the rest of the house unless he was certain that something was amiss, Elladan stepped quietly inside. The moonlight was bright enough that it illuminated the room enough for him to see that his human brother lay unmoving on the floor.

Without a second thought, Elladan was on his knees beside the still form. "Estel! Estel, open your eyes!"

Estel groaned, his eyes remaining closed.

Elladan shook him gently. "Open your eyes, brother. You must awaken!"

Startled gray eyes opened wide, and the young ranger began to feebly push away Elladan's offer of assistance. Shaking his head, Elladan continued to help his brother into a sitting position. Estel's skin was cold to the touch ... he must have been lying on the floor for some time. Elladan pulled a blanket from his bed and wrapped it around Estel's shoulders.

"Elladan?"

"Yes, young one. It is Elladan. What happened? Are you all right?"

Estel looked down, unable to meet his brother's eyes. "I - I couldn't sleep."

Memory washed over the elf in waves as he remembered his human brother as a child. The heart that had broken when the Lady Celebrian departed for the Havens had broken further still when he found that Arathorn had been slain. When he had lifted the two-year-old Edain child into his arms, Elladan had felt the broken pieces begin to heal. The utter dependence of the child, the complete trust he placed in his rescuer had completely amazed him. When the child began to wail for his mother, Elladan had felt a common bond at once. Since that day, he had done everything in his power to comfort and guide the child, taking his role as older brother very much to heart. Many times, Estel had wandered into his room at night, upset from a dream or fearful of thunderstorms or strange noises. Of course, it had been many years since that had happened, as Estel was a man, albeit a young one, by human standards.

Until now. The terror and pain caused by the creature of Sauron had frightened both brothers far more than either would admit to any other, even Elrond. While Elladan had spoken to Elrohir and Estel had confided in Legolas, there was no way that anyone could truly understand what they had gone through unless they had experienced it for themselves.

Estel had not looked up, and Elladan had not replied. The young human's shoulders slumped in defeat, and he tried to rise. "I will go then, my brother. This was your home before it was mine. I would not cause you suffering." Again, he attempted to rise, but his body would not cooperate with him.

"I brought you to this place, Estel. I brought you here because I intended for you to stay. Ada decided to raise you because he wanted you here. If you left, I do not believe that he could bear it, not after all that has happened in recent times." Elladan helped Estel to his feet, then onto the bed. "I want you to lie down and get warm. The Valar know how long you were on the cold floor."

Estel did as his brother said, finding that he was quite glad to be back in a soft, warm bed. "You don't wish me to go?"

"Go? Estel, if anyone were to go, it should be me! You heard the things that were in my mind, you saw how I was! Can you truly say that you do not wish I were not here?"

In answer, Estel pushed himself up into a sitting position again and wrapped his arms around his brother as tightly as his wounds would allow. Emotion choked his voice as he fought against the sobs that threatened to wrack his body. "I was afraid, Elladan. I could not discern truth and reason from pain and fear. I know what that - that creature did to you. I know because it did the same to me." Estel took a long, shaky breath. "No, I do not want you to go. I never did. I thought you blamed me for making you relive your memories about your mother." He paused for a moment, pulling away. "Do you?"

Elladan responded automatically, just as he had reacted to Estel's distress when he had been a child. The elf returned the embrace, whispering words of comfort in Elvish until the human had calmed. "The memories of my mother are with me always. It happened long before you were born. I do not blame you for anything other than frightening all of us nearly unto death. So, now that we agree that neither wants the other to leave and that we do not blame each other, why don't we have that conversation we have needed to have since you first awakened?"

"I would like that." Estel smiled at his brother, and this time the smile reached his eyes. He felt as though a great weight had been rolled from his chest. The knowledge that he was not responsible for his brother's distress coming from Elladan himself was enough to assuage Estel's own worry. However, when the stress melted away, he suddenly realized how very exhausted and sore he was. His body sagged forward slightly, and Elladan gently helped him to lie back against the soft pillows.

"Tomorrow we will talk, brother. Now you must rest. You have used the very last of your strength tonight, I believe. Sleep, and I will let Ada know that you rest here rather than in your own chambers so he will not worry." Elladan felt the guilt and sadness that clouded his heart and mind begin to lift, and he could not resist reaching out to ruffle Estel's hair as he had when the ranger had been a child, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes that had previously held only pain. Estel batted feebly at his brother's hand with his good arm, feigning annoyance at the old habit, but quickly gave up protesting. Truthfully, he was so glad that his relationship with his brother had been repaired that he would gladly have put up with having his hair ruffled until he was old and gray.

*********************************************************

Elladan sat up watching his brother sleep for a short while, just to ensure that Estel slept peacefully. When he finally rose to catch some sleep himself, he was surprised to find Elrohir and Legolas standing in the doorway.

"I take it that you have made your peace? Is all well between you and Estel?" Elrohir's face mirrored the concern in the Prince of Mirkwood's.

"Did he come to you? He could barely walk!" Legolas frowned at the sleeping form on Elladan's bed. "You and I will have words when you awaken, Estel. Words about why it is a bad idea to frighten the best archer in Middle Earth within an inch of his immortal life!" The golden-haired elf shook his head, laughing softly. "I went to look in on him, and he was gone. My heart was in my throat, I swear it. I didn't know if I should check the stables, the forest, or here first."

Elladan put a finger to his lips to indicate that they should speak softly because Estel was asleep. "We have made our peace, to answer the first question. As for the second, the answer is yes, he did come to me. I was not here, as I was out thinking on the wise words of a certain elf who shall remain nameless at this time. When I returned, I found him on the floor, unconscious. You say that your heart was in your throat when you discovered him missing? Nay, I felt sure that mine had hammered its way out of my chest when I saw him thus!"

As the three elves whispered to each other as they watched Estel sleep, Elrond and Gandalf watched unnoticed from the doorway for a moment before moving down the hallway to speak.

"So, your sons have reconciled. Surely that must have lightened your heart?"

Elrond nodded. "It does, Mithrandir. I feared for Elladan and Estel. They have been close since Estel came here to Rivendell."

Hesitantly, the wizard spoke. "Elrond, my old friend ... I do not wish to bring gloom to an otherwise happy occasion, but there is an unpleasant truth that you and I must face. The creature, the would-be wizard that Sauron sent? We do not know how much it managed to tell its master."

"What are you saying?" The Lord of Rivendell arched his eyebrows, fixing the Maiar with a look that was almost a glare.

Gandalf sighed. "I am saying that we must prepare ourselves for the possibility that Sauron might know who and where Estel is. Even if he is not yet certain, we must assume that he knows more than he did before. Other servants will be sent to ascertain the whereabouts and identity of Isildur's heir."

Elrond felt a strange, sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach, and he wondered briefly if that was what it felt like when Estel was ill. The idea of his human son in the kind of danger that Mithrandir was hinting at pained him greatly. The image of Estel struggling against his bonds as the orcs held him down and beat him would not be leaving Elrond's mind anytime soon. If Estel fell into the Dark Lord's hands, then hope would be lost.

So lost that not even Mithrandir or Elrond would be able to save him.

"What will you do, Elrond?"

Fierce determination filled the elf-lord's eyes. "I will wait until he has healed, and then I will tell him the truth, as you have told it to me. I will do all that I can to give him the resources he will need as he grows into his destiny. Most importantly, I believe, I will be sure to impress upon him that he is not alone. His family and his friends stand with him, no matter what the future holds."


	11. Chapter 11

Epilogue:

Within a week, Estel was much improved. Two weeks late, he was able to rise, though he was not yet allowed to ride or use a sword or bow, he was so happy to be able to walk out of doors once more that he did not mind the restrictions. He spent most of his time planning a great adventure with his brothers and Legolas, who remained in Rivendell to personally oversee his human friend's recovery.

Estel chuckled softly to himself at the thought of the Mirkwood prince. Legolas had been so attentive that only this morning, Estel had teased him by replying to his request to stop and take a rest, "Yes, mother." Elladan and Elrohir had laughed, and Legolas had, after a brief sulk, laughed as well.

Far from offended by the extra attention, Estel allowed himself for once to bask in it. After his ordeal, it was as if the love he felt for his family and friends and the love they felt for him in return filled all of the empty places left in his heart by the creature of Sauron and its lies. Every time one of his brothers smiled or laughed, he could almost feel one more part of the cold emptiness disappear. Every gesture of affection Elrond showed his human son chased away the shadows of doubt, and the elf lord showered Estel with understanding and love. Determined not to make the same mistakes that he had in the past, both distant and recent, Elrond visited with Estel daily, refusing to allow the young ranger to speak only of pleasant things.

At first, Estel was upset that his father wished him to speak of the things he had suffered, but Elrond was patient with him and shared as much as he listened. Very quickly, Estel began to understand why his father insisted that he not try to forget about what he had been though. He did not want Estel to make the same mistakes he had made himself, and wanted to protect his son against the temptation to lock away his emotions and become cold and distant. Though he did not enjoy remembering the pain, Estel understood that it was necessary to sort though these things, and was grateful that Elrond was there for him every step of the way.

One piece of the emptiness Estel knew would be with him always, and no amount of understanding or cheer from his father or brothers would ever banish it. The creature had not succeeded in breaking Estel's spirit or his body, but it had managed to bring to the surface his fears about his destiny and his human heritage. Estel had always known that he was mortal and that his elven family was not, but Sauron's creature had twisted that dagger and opened a wound that had long lain dormant. He had always imagined that he would die an old man while his father and brothers remained youthful, and had been more concerned with how they would deal with his passing than for his own death. Now, he realized that it was entirely possible and more than likely that they would voluntarily leave him while still he lived to live out their immortal years in the Havens, a place he could never hope to see. After seeing in Elladan and Elrond's

minds how much the departure of Celebrian had hurt them, it was not in his heart to cost them so much as a year's delay.

The only one who knew of this was Legolas, who knew that the only thing Estel feared more than his destiny was to fulfill it and live the rest of his days alone. The small amount of relief he had been able to offer his human friend by promising to stay in Middle Earth until he passed was well worth the sacrifice. If not one other would stay with him, then at least Legolas would be there to bring whatever happiness he could into Estel's life.

The Prince of Mirkwood entered Elladan and Elrohir's sitting room to find that Estel was already there. The young ranger lounged on the sofa, a soft pillow between his healing ribs and the cushion of the seat. Maps were spread out in front of him and on the floor surrounding him, and his chin rested on his hand as he stared at the maps, his eyes narrowing almost imperceptibly in concentration as he thought. Legolas bit his lip in concern as Estel slowly pushed his body into an upright sitting position. He had not yet seen the elf, and his brothers had not yet arrived, giving him no reason to muffle any groans or hide his reactions. Estel bent double, holding his arms tightly across his chest and rocking back and forth for a moment before straightening again. Stiffly, Estel managed to get to his feet, taking a moment to stretch and flex his left leg.

His concern for his friend got the better of him, and Legolas could no longer stand in the doorway merely watching. "Estel?"

The young human started, turning quickly to face him.

"Estel." The elf's voice was soft with concern, but there was no pity in

the clear, blue eyes. "Is all well with you? You seemed to be in pain, more so than yesterday."

Rather than arguing or accusing Legolas of guarding him as though he were an egg and Legolas the hen, Estel smiled, his gray eyes offering a rueful twinkle. "There is no cause for worry, my friend. I fell asleep for a time lying on my stomach, and I fear that it was too long." He pulled his tunic up to show his chest, and Legolas was surprised to see that the bruises had not yet healed. Estel's flesh was still a patchwork of green, blue, and black, though the yellow of fading bruises was present as well.

It was small reminders such as this that caused Legolas to think about just how long it took for fragile mortal bodies to repair themselves. Thinking about Estel in elven terms came naturally. Legolas pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind. Estel did not need a morose elf, burdened with sadness, hanging over his shoulder. He needed his friend.

"Ouch." Legolas winced sympathetically. "Is there anything I might do to help?"

"Yes. If you see me lying asleep on my stomach, be kind and flip me like a flapjack. I'll thank you for it. I've slept on my stomach since I was a child. The habit is hard to break." Estel paused for a moment before he spoke again, changing the subject. "Have you seen my brothers? I thought they were to meet us here."

"Your father has been meeting with them for over an hour. I believe their latest mischief has been discovered."

At this, Estel's face broke into a smile, and he laughed softly. "I told them that it was a bad idea, but their curiosity could not be satisfied until they had tried it for themselves. Is Ada very angry?"

"I do not know if 'angry' is the right word to use. More than anything, I believe that he would just have preferred not to arrive home from his herb gathering only to have a pail of water emptied onto his head for the simple crime of opening the door. Last I heard, Elrohir was protesting that the bucket was not meant for Elrond, but for you and I."

"Knowing Ada, I don't think he much cares whom the bucket was meant for, only that it completely drenched the herbs he had only just gathered. I suppose some of the blame is mine. I did start the prank war, after all. Perhaps he would allow me to gather the herbs he lost?"

Legolas snorted very un-elvishly. "Not very likely. Your Ada is not going to let you leave this place without escort for some time yet. And please answer me honestly, Estel. Do you really consider yourself to be fit for riding?"

With a sigh, Estel answered him. "No. I can barely move my left arm and the rest of me is stiff and aching yet."

"Very good answer, my friend." He patted Estel's shoulder gently in a gesture of mock-congratulations. "You may yet come to your senses and stop believing that you are indestructible."

Pulling a rude face at his friend, Estel laughed. "Prissy elf."

It was good, very good indeed, to hear laughter from the young ranger once again when not so long ago at all he had feared never to hear it again. "We were not supposed to meet your brothers here until a short while ago. Why were you sleeping here?"

Estel sat back down, this time careful of his hurts. "I have long loved this room. As a child, I used to take my naps in here occasionally. I liked drifting off to sleep knowing that my brothers occupied the rooms to either side. It made me feel safe when I was small."

"And now?"

"Now, it gives me good memories of feeling safe when I was small. My dreams are never frightening when I rest here."

"And are they frightening when you rest elsewhere?"

"They are not as bad now, nor as frequent."

"But you still have them. Is it the creature? Do its lies still haunt you?"

Estel shook his head, his eyes cast downward. "Not its lies, only the truths."

Automatically, Legolas reached out and raised Estel's chin, forcing the young human to make eye contact. He did not let go immediately, his hand remaining against Estel's cheek for emphasis. "It spoke no truths, my friend. A creature such as that could have no concept of truth, when it was created for the purpose of deceit and lies. I will not see you torment yourself needlessly. When truth is twisted and used to wound and deceive, it is no longer truth, but deception. Listen to me, and believe that what I tell you is true. I would never seek to manipulate you, Estel. Do you believe me?"

Without hesitation, Estel nodded. "I could never doubt you, Legolas. You know that."

"Then, if you cannot doubt me, and I cannot lie to you, it stands to reason that we can trust one another, does it not?" The elf-prince smiled to lighten the mood.

It worked. A brilliant grin crossed Estel's face, and this time it reached his eyes. "Of course, you know that you are only so wise because you are terribly old?"

"Indeed, I am so old that it is surprising that I do not walk with a cane and endlessly recount stories of my youth!"

"Well ... you never miss an opportunity to tell of the time long before I existed that you and my brothers fought an impossibly large troll and won. Perhaps a walking stick and a gray beard are not so far away for you - if you weren't an elf, of course." The teasing twinkle in Estel's gray eyes was a welcome sight, but before Legolas could tease back, they were interrupted.

"And what, may I ask, is so funny about a gray beard and a walking stick, Legolas Greenleaf?"

The elf and the human turned to the doorway to see Gandalf, arms crossed, frowning at them. Behind the wizard stood Elladan and Elrohir, who were thoroughly enjoying their younger brother and friend's discomfort.

"Um, well - " Estel began, then glanced beseechingly to Legolas.

When the Mirkwood prince shrugged helplessly in response, the wizard began to laugh heartily. "No offense was taken, as I am most certain none was intended."

Just then, Estel noticed that Gandalf carried a scroll and many maps. Gandalf's blue eyes twinkled merrily at the look of excitement on the young man's face. "Yes, young Estel. You, your brothers, and the son of Thranduil may put away your maps and your plans, for I have a favor to ask of you. A quest, if you will."

(To be continued in another story. Not sure when it will be finished, but this is, officially, the end of By Some Evil Spell.)


End file.
